Single now.. routine for a newborn?

[Yelsgirl]

So I’m expecting a baby in 9 weeks, Partner left me and I have a 3 year old with my ex.
I’m having a section so my mums friend is coming in the section with me as I want someone supportive in there with me.

My issue is realistically when does the dad see the baby? I know he will come to the hospital but after this. Obviously I’m massively hurt by him leaving me- do I have to have an open door policy on my house still? Baring in mind my 3 year old is here too who’s pretty confused by someone walking out without a bye and never coming back.
Realistically when would he expect to have her on his own ?
I just want what’s best for her but I really can’t work out how it will work out !

You definitely don’t need to have an open door policy. Nor does the father have to come to the hospital if you don’t want him to.

Realistically, you could ask him to visit his child for an hour, perhaps two or three times a week, when it is convenient. Over night visits aren’t necessary for a year or two, after a good relationship has been established.

Congratulations.

See I suggested one night a week from around 6 months + and he suggested I was being ridiculous. I don’t want to seem like I’m controlling when he can see his child obviously I’m happy he still wants to be there for her- but at the same time he left me at an awful time and I don’t know how I’m meant to just let him come and visit whenever !

Imo a lot depends on whether you're breast or bottle feeding - if breast feeding an overnight may be impossible for the first 6 months at least and short visits could work with expressed milk but only after breast feeding is established. if bottle feeding you have more flexibility. Do you have any reason to think he couldn't cope with a baby on his own? If not then he should be given a short time and build up at your own pace. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

I’m planning to formula feed I think- however with my little boy I BF for a couple of weeks and struggled so I’m tempted to try again and ask for more support !
I have no reason to be concerned about him on his own witn her, its just more the thought of leaving my newborn baby terrifies me :(