Hiding money

[Ilovebolly]

Things are pretty bad between H and I and I’m just trying to wait until I’m completely ready to separate. I’d thought he was just burying his head in the sand about it all - he’s not discussed any of our problems and seems to just be content to bumble along not speaking, separate rooms etc. So I was pretty shocked today to discover (through snooping) that he’s just a week or so ago opened a secret bank account and deposited £50k into it. It was money given to him by a family member and he’s put it into his expense account rather than our joint account and then deposited it into this new acccount. I’m kind of reeling from finding this out and feel like he’s actually way more organised and calculated than I thought. Am also really worried he’s going to try to shaft me financially even though there are kids involved. Not sure where I will stand with knowing about this money but having found out by snooping? Anyone got any words of advice?

Sounds a bit like how I was...he was happy being separate and living our own lives in the same house. It was the comfort of it. We didn't communicate. When it came to separating and declaring finances I realised how little communication we had...here I was working FT in overdraft every month paying for things for the kids, while he was happily saving thousands I knew nothing about. However in my case I don't think it was malicious, it was ignorance.
If you are in the brink of separating and he knows it it's possible he has taken legal advice and realised he has to split everything with you - that's all assists, savings, pension. Being in his own account can't hide it as they all have to be declared.