Sorry in advance for the following brain dump, just struggling a little at the moment.
My ex was emotionally abusive, but I foolishly stuck with him for 8 years before finding out about his affairs and finally gathering the courage to dump him and move on.
That was nearly two years ago and on the surface I am doing really well, I have bought a house, been promoted at work and met someone absolutely lovely in December.
But I am really struggling sometimes with my anxiety and intrusive thoughts.
For context I am just about to turn 30 and my partner is a couple of years younger than me.
When we first got together everything was great when we were together, but when I was home alone I would get really anxious that history would repeat and that he would cheat on me. I managed to keep these thoughts to myself and rarely get them now.
Things are genuinely great between us, and I can definitely see a future with him, but I get these intrusive thoughts that make me question if I can trust my own judgement?
We have a long haul holiday book for the new year, and have discussed moving in together next summer, with a view to getting married and having children in the next few years.
Thing is I am equally desperate to start a family, and terrified about being hurt again. I swing between being impatient that he hasn’t proposed yet, to horrified with myself that I would tie myself so readily to someone I’ve only known for 9 months!!
I had councelling when the first relationship broke down, but didn’t find it particularly helpful as I tried to minimise. Wondering if CBT might help?
Sorry not really sure what I’m actually asking - just felt I really needed to get this off my chest