Feeling invisible to partner

[Iamablanket]

Don't know if I'm being over sensitive but I'm starting to feel quite invisible to my partner. We live together and have a 2 month old baby. He's not working at the moment as he lost his job while I was pregnant and I'm on maternity leave so we are together a lot of the time. He spends most his day either reading the news on the internet, watching YouTube or sometimes playing Xbox, I do the majority of the baby care and housework. To be fair he will do anything if asked but is rarely proactive in doing stuff. If baby cries for example he will carry on watching his video and I will deal with the baby. We've had numerous discussions about this and he says I need to tell him what I want done but I think I really shouldn't have to keep doing this as it's draining and a lot of things are obvious!

I'm starting to feel that he's not interested on anything I say unless it's about something he's specifically interested in. Earlier we were talking about what we were doing at the weekend. I asked him something, he didn't answer so I looked up and he was staring at his phone reading a news article right in the middle of our conversation. This is not the first time it's happened and I'm starting to find it very hurtful.

I've tried talking to him about it and he told me that I can't tell him what to do and to stop trying to control him. I can't bring it up again as it's pointless and will cause a row but don't know what to do about it.

Sorry that probably sounds really trivial, it's hard to put across what it's like. Any advice welcome

So what is he doing about finding another job?
I remember being made redundant.
It was awful.
I felt like total shit.
But I had to get out there.
Went round agencies.
On-line most of the day, job hunting.
Got a temp job about 2 weeks after my previous job finished and they took me on full-time employed within a month.
If he isn't doing anything, he needs to get out there with his CV.
Pubs, restaurants, shops, anything to tide you over for now.
But he needs to get out from under your feet.
How are you supporting yourselves at the moment?

Do you take baby out for walks?
If so, then ensure he goes with you.
Plan trips to the park etc... and make sure he goes with you.
Depression could be setting in and that is not good!

He sounds like a crap partner and Dad. Was he like this before he lost his job?
Do you think you’d be happier without him?

Thanks for the replies.

No I wouldn't be happier without him, he can be wonderful and has been great with my teenage son. That said he has always been a bit like this, just got worse (or possibly just more noticeable) since baby was born.

He's not doing a lot about finding a new job. It would help a lot if he did I think. Fortunately I get full maternity pay for 6 months, but even so things are tight and we've had to claim tax credits.

I think I feel resentful because if he was at work I'd expect to do everything but we're both at home, I'm doing everything and he's mostly chilling out.

I do think he has a tendency towards depression, he didn't like his job but so easy to become stuck in a rut when you don't work.

Although after I wrote the first post he strangely decided to go to the supermarket, make lunch and then cut the grass!

He needs a kick up the bum. Remind him that he is now a parent and he needs to get another job.

I'd be telling him that he either pulls his finger out, mans up and starts acting like a parent or he can fuck off and leave you to be a single parent (which it sounds like you are at the moment anyway). He's not contributing in any way and the fact that he is not doing everything in his power to get a new job and contribute to the household would be a big issue for me. The whole thing about him ignoring you and not being proactive with things that need done now that you have a new baby would be another big issue for me. Who does he think you are? The skivvy? You have to take care of everything while he slobs around watching YouTube and playing games until you point out to him that something needs to be done? It's not the 1950's, you're not his mother and if you don't do something about this now it will become the norm. Actually it seems like it's already his norm because he's pushing back on you when you try and change it by calling you controlling. He's gotten nice and comfy in his little bubble where you do everything hasn't he? You should be able to bring up things that are hurtful to you and that are impacting you without it becoming an argument. Your partner should care and be willing to listen and work with you, especially so soon after you've given birth. He needs to take a good hard look at himself and you need to think about what he is actually bringing to the relationship and if it's what is good for you

He sounds like a teenager. I spend a lot of my life telling my teenage son what I want him to do - bring his laundry down stairs, put his plate in the dishwasher, tidy his room etc it's fucking annoying that i have to say the same s**t to him every.single.day. I would lose the plot altogether if my husband, a grown adult expected to be told what to do as well, thankfully he doesn't, I don't think we would have lasted long if he did