I need to rant about toxic family members. I've been trying to separate from soon to be ex for years. Huge resistance from his family (probably to be expected) and from mine (less expected). Two of my siblings are effectively not in communication with me. Probably a good thing as both unbelievably toxic, albeit well concealed. Both married to people who I think are probably even more toxic than they are - again, well concealed.
The prize, however, goes to sister in law who has tried so hard to keep me in my marriage it is truly unbelievable. Her specialty is getting my siblings on her side and also my father. She manages to extract information from them and they use it to plot her 'games' and sabotage whatever good things I might try to get going in my life.
Once she had managed to get a ring on my brother's finger she immediately dropped me out of his social circle like a hot potato. It was incredibly noticeable but I just let it go. However, she has taken the 'game' to a whole new level of the past few years, capitalizing in on the inevitable drama that surrounds a divorce.
Just as I am trying to pull myself out of the wreckage of the past two years she will swoop down and throw another pile of s* my way. Father about to help me out a bit financially - she'll sabotage that by telling him I should be renting (so won't get help with house deposit). Brother showing some support towards me - she will be circling around soon to be ex with the sympathy tissues and making sure he's seeing the best divorce lawyers.
Another sibling trying to be a bit supportive? She will be busy inventing a story about how I tried to take soon to be ex to the cleaner's or how unfair I have been.
I dropped a present round once for one of their children and they were in the garden drinking wine with friends. My brother offered me a glass and she immediately said: 'Oh, I thought you were just dropping the present round.' She must have let that slip unintentionally because she immediately reverted to smiling in front of their friends. It's scary stuff but at least I've now completely clocked 'the game'. Her children are a bit nicer but my sister's children - or at least some of them - are definitely showing the hallmarks of some of their parents' traits. A lack of genuine emotion is the big one. And then talking about people behind their back's and then slipping little 'digs' when in front of them. But never actually asking about me or how I am. I could go on but I won't. I'm not even sure why I'm ranting really. I'm happy for me story to be trumped by those who have had to endure even worse....
Bottom line, at one point a year or so back I felt so desperate that I was thinking about ending it all. I never would because of my children. Soon to be ex knew but not one member either of my or his family tried to be kind or help. Not one. Unbelievable. My mother was kind but she died years ago and unfortunately there has been nobody to bring any sanity into the family. I tried but members seem to prefer to scapegoat me. I guess ultimately it is their loss but it's difficult to see it that way sometimes. Toxic sister's siblings also try to get my children on board and resent me because I have seen through all their manipulations.