DP CONSTANTLY falling asleep!!

[BasilFaulty]

As far as I know, no medical issues. I have told him to go to the GP but he says there's nothing wrong with being tired. Otherwise fit and healthy, not an issue at work, etc etc.

So an underlying medical condition aside, bit of back story - I work in the emergency services which includes a lot of night shifts etc. DP works 9-5 on a good day and today had a half day booked as he was playing golf in the morning.
Gets home at 5, we've both finally got an evening together after I had a set of four night shifts and have basically been ships in the night. I go and look what to make for dinner, come back and shock horror he's snoring on the sofa yet again.
He says it's because he doesn't sleep well at night.....well, yes, because he's constantly having a 3 hour 'nap' before going to bed!

I just don't know what to do. I've come up to bed on my own, another evening written off. Just feel lonely.

Any advice or experiences would be so appreciated.

Let him have a short nap then go wake him up and say you want to spend a bit of time together.

He's just come upstairs and we've had a chat about it but he's walked back downstairs upset because I am getting sick of it now and losing patience.

He'd already been asleep for two hours which I wouldn't class as a 'short nap'

Could he have apnoea?

Is he definitely sleeping ok in the night? My DH suffered with sleep apnoea for a while and he wasn’t sleeping properly. He could literally doze off waiting for the kettle to boil.

He needs testing for thyroid problems and anaemia. (And everything else really but particularly these two, I have them and when they’re not controlled I am falling asleep non stop, it’s dresdful).

I feel sorry for you. My ex used to be like this and it was miserable.

Hmm I think some people are just naturally tired. Try not to take it personally. I’m ALWAYS tired and nap after work (I work 10-6) and sleep til lunchtime at weekends. I’ve had all the blood tests and there’s nothing physically wrong with me. I’m just sleepy and I never feel like I have any energy, sounds like he’s similar

You need to Have Words; does he know what impact it's having on you? Be honest with him; if you aren't he won't know how much of a problem it is.

I do sympathise, my DH is a paramedic so we often do ships-in-the-night weeks, but we always plan ahead for an evening together once a week.

He needs to go to his gp, when my husband was sleeping at the drop of a hat he ended up with a CPAP machine at night

Could also be a B12 deficiency. I know what you mean though my partner asks if I want to watch a film then 30 mins later he's asleep 👊

He needs to exercise. He's sluggish. Maybe get into a routine of an early evening jog together or a brisk walk to blow away the cobwebs. Does he eat well? Or loads of sugar crashes?

When you are on nights, does he stay up late, eg video games, online? Try switching off the WiFi discreetly next time you are working nights.

He needs to go to the GP and have a full blood screen and health check. Exceasivw tiredness is symptomatic of quite a few health conditions that can manifest themselves in otherwise healthy people.

As above, visit to gp in order, can you watch him sleeping/record him with a snoring app to see if he has sleep apnoea , does he have risk factors for it?
sleepeducation.org/essentials-in-sleep/sleep-apnea/symptoms-risk-factors

Is he only tired when you are on nightshift and not there, ie is he staying up late at night gaming or on social media/watching movies etc. Or is he also tired in morning when you have both been together overnight.

Some partners of those who work nightshift dont sleep well when partner is away either because they have some anxiety about being alone at night or because they do not follow a routine because partner not there.

Yep he needs to go and se his GP.

It could sleep apnea or a lot of others things.
Imo men often dint want to admit there is something wrong so will say they are just ‘tired’ when they are actually exhausted.
It’s not normal to have a full night of sleep and then a 3 hour nap in the afternoon (I did that when I was at my worse with ME for example)

I wouldn’t advice exercise to someone who is falling asleep like this.
Someone who is saying they are tired and lack motivation, yes.
Not when showing signs of exhaustion like this.

How old is he? Has he always been like this or has it come on? If it has developed over time that itself suggests that something is going wrong.

He needs to be checked out. As well as the other things that have been mentioned, sleepiness like this can be symptomatic of low testosterone and other endocrine problems.

I am like this, I hit the ground running and am on the go the whole day but the second that my brain senses that it isn’t being occupied, it switches off and I’m asleep. Thank god for iPlayer, or I would never see the end of a programme.

DH was like this and turned out to have sleep apnoea. Does he snore? Is it irregular? Eg he stops snoring, then resumes suddenly with a snort/ gasp?

It's sleep apnea. He needs proper assessment.

Go to the gp with him, otherwise he will deliberately play down his symptoms and you'll latterly realise he's probably responsible fur a massive traffic accident because he fell asleep.

My ex's consultant joked about how many of his patients were brought in by partners and wives. Because we're the ones who give a shit about being responsible for other road users.

My ex managed to avoid all medical tests truth by deliberately "misunderstanding" the "nil by mouth" instructions and having a cup of sugary tea an hour before his fasting blood test.

Do not underestimate the slyness of men determined to extract their ultimate from the system.