Is there someone else?

[Jaffacakes74]

My dear husband and I have been through so much, we have been married for 10 years and in the last 5 years I have been operated on 3 times ( twice for severe endometriosis and last year for cancer). He has really kept the family going and came with me to each chemo session. I finally finished radiotherapy and immunotherapy last month only to told he thinks we should separate and use this chance to find happiness elsewhere as the last 5 years have been so hard. He tells me our son will be better off seeing his parents happy with other people rather than us contining with our conselling and trying to rebuild our lives. He has been withdrawing quite a lot of cash from our account and keep telling me his colleagues were in bad place personally and needed to change family, wife, job etc and that every GP, therapist he sees is telling him to leave. Sorry for the long post, it’s been a long road and I haven’t even had the chance to catch my breath following my treatment. Any thoughts?

Wow, I'm sorry but your 'D'H sounds like a class A cunt. The fact that he's said he would be happier with someone else does sound like he is seeing someone else. It sounds to me like he checked out a while ago OP, he's just been waiting for your treatment to finish so he can leave you without the guilt of going when you're still in treatment. He's taking large sums of cash (you've got to put a stop to that ASAP, if it's in a joint account that's your money too) and telling you all these things about colleagues, GP's and therapists to make his decision seem plausible and convince you that he's right (really what kind of job does he have that all the people he works with felt the only way to improve their life was to leave their spouse?). I think you know he's spinning you a bunch of BS with that because he's trying to justify to himself what he is doing and trying to stop you from calling him out on his pathetic behaviour. He wants you to agree with what he's saying so he can saunter off into the sunset without a lick of guilt about what he's done and what he's now doing. Also the odds that he's been to see numerous GP's and therapists and they've all told him to leave the marriage are slim to none. He's either lying to you or he's been lying to them about you making you out to be a horrendous person and a terrible wife.
I'm so sorry he's done this to you, do you have any people in RL you can talk to and get support from?
I think you need to get your ducks in a row OP, your H has made his position clear and you need to make sure you're not left totally on the back foot in all this.

A qualified counsellor won't tell you to do anything. They are non-directive. He's lying. I'm so sorry he has bailed. He clearly isn't who you thought he was.

We live in France and he keeps telling me about his colleague taking his wife to court to stop her going back home. This weekend we talked about separating and he had a panic attack. I ended up having to drive him to the emergency ward where he told the dr we had been talking about my cancer rather than him wanting out. I found pictures of a colleague of his in a club together kissing his cheek with her eyes closed and also another photo of a girl who he said is the flatmate of a friend. Wish I could believe him, but why hide if you have done nothing wrong?

I meant to say his colleague went to court to stop his wife going back home with their kids