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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex-friends (with each other)

2 replies

Namesarehardtothinkof · 04/09/2018 00:18

I have a small group of friends who are very important to me and to each other. Each year we have a festive tradition of all getting together, having food and doing a secret Santa.

Last year 2 of these friends stopped talking to each other. It's all been understood and respected by the rest of us (even if I am extremely upset by it all). We carried on as normal as we'd already planned Christmas, but 1 of these friends decided not to come.

Fast forward to this year, and they are still not talking. Again, that's up to them and nothing is going to change anything. But I don't know what to do about our tradition. It sounds trivial, but to carry on with it seems really disrespectful to them both as it puts them both in a very difficult position. And to not do it, would make them both feel incredibly guilty for being the reason a 6+ year tradition has ended. Plus disappointing the others of our group. I'm the one who normally starts the ball rolling in planning it. And I don't know what to do. I don't want to upset or offend anyone, but this year I just want to give it a miss.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Cawfee · 04/09/2018 04:57

It sounds all too difficult and dramatic. Their friendship is over so i would leave the tradition and take a break this year

Santaclarita · 04/09/2018 06:17

Sod them. Continue with it. If they want to be childish and not even show up just because they don't like someone, that's their problem. As for secret santa, just tell them if you get x, put it back in the hat and choose another name. Don't see why a tradition should end just because they aren't talking.

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