3 year old so upset, says he has no friends

[falsesmile]

My little boy turns 4 next month. Today he came out of preschool and told me everyone he asked to play with today said no to him, so he was alone all day and had no friends. He got really hysterical saying only his family like him but nobody at nursery likes him. I was trying to reassure him and telling him what a wonderful little boy he is, pointing out his friends. He'd say "James" used to be my friend but he won't play with me now. He was so sad and it broke my heart to see him so upset. I've told him tomorrow to just join in with people, he said he's tried that and they just walk away. I've spoken to the nursery staff before and they just say he's fine and likes playing by himself, but he doesn't. I'm crying for him. Any advice please, has anyone had similar?

I would go back and speak with the staff if you're concerned.

My DS1 can be a bit like this. He will get all upset and emotional if he's had a bad day, some one has upset him etc. He catastrophises with it. So turns one incident into everyone and everything. But then the next day at school everyone says hello to him and wants to play with him and he's happy again.

But speak with staff to raise your concerns.

Poor wee lad. I think you need to go back to the nursery and tell them that he is coming out crying because he really doesn't like playing alone.

Oh the poor little love. Could you try some playdates. Afterschool or on the weekend.

Perhaps have one or two boys over. I did that when DD was in Reception. She was very quiet and I thought arranged a couple of Saturday morning playdates. I had the mums over of they wanted to stay or they could drop their DC off for a couple of hours.

That creates a familiarity outside nursery.

It can be heartbreaking though.

Speak to the nursery staff again and tell them he isn't happy playing alone and see if they can arrange group or inclusive play.

Maybe invite a child round for the afternoon on a play date. Some children like to play with lots of different friends on a superficial level. Others like to stick with one trusted playmate. It might be he hasn't yet found a particular friend. Don't forget they are nearly 4 and fickle as anything.

The poor little lad. I understand how you feel. My 4 year old girl cried today too because she has no friends at home. She's too young to go out alone and a lot of the kids aro7nd are older anyway. My heart breaks for her. She's an only child too and I have no plans for another.

I agree with pp. Speak to nursery and ask them to try and facilitate group play. Also if you could get to know other mums and have joint play dates it may encourage friendships to form. Poor wee darling x

Hello op! I’m in the exact same situation with my little boy of same age. Could you possibly give me some glimpse into the future? How disbelief little boy get on in the few years after this? Thanks so much!