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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What should i do?

3 replies

Sunflower259 · 03/09/2018 19:29

need a bit of advice please, probably seem silly to people but in a real dilemma!

Me and boyfriend been together over 2 years and have been arguing a lot over the past few months. A month or so ago i went through something personal and did not tell him about it, i felt at the time he wouldn't understand/care and i felt we weren't in a good enough position for me to talk about it with him.
On saturday, we got into a huge fight where i got overly emotional and blurted everything out, very sudden and very blunt. I was in such a state, that at the time he was comforting and told me he would always be there for me.
yesterday morning we briefly spoke where he explained he needed time to think about everything because he feels he no longer knows who i am and is hurt that i kept it from him, which i understand. i told him i would give him the time he needed, i also need some time to think as i was quite hurt over how he handled it, knowing how i was feeling. i have not heard anything since.
i do not know what he needs to think about, i feel its whether he even wants to be in this relationship anymore, but i just have to wait and see.
i am currently off work as i had holiday i needed to take, and we do not live together but i had been arguing with myself all day whether to text him or not just to say that i hope he had a good day at work. i know its silly but i have my reasons!
i don't want him to think im starting a conversation, i just want him to know i am thinking of him. half of me is saying yes, do it but the other half, i just cant help but feel like he's only thinking about himself and not even thought how i could be feeling.
do i just send him a quick text or do i leave it and give him the time and space he asked for?
i do apologise for the silliness of this, i just dont want to make the situation worse and feel the advice of others will be great help!

OP posts:
BackInTheRoom · 03/09/2018 23:05

Just seen this...did you contact him?

Passingwords · 03/09/2018 23:09

Trust your initial instinct not to tell him, you had reasons, it’s easy for him now to say he’d support you and perhaps he would/will. Leave him to come to you when he’s ready otherwise you may feel you have forced his hand

BackInTheRoom · 03/09/2018 23:15

Agree with Passingwords

He was so concerned about why you felt you couldn't confide in him that he's not contacting you?! I can't help thinking that he's using this as an excuse not to contact you, turning the tables so you feel sorry for him.

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