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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can someone talk me through the mechanics of separation/divorce?

0 replies

EdinaMonsoon · 03/09/2018 10:00

As much as I want my marriage to work, it just isn't going to. We have been together 20 years and have two teen DC.

I am exhausted by the constant bickering & arguing. Last straw was DH telling me to "go f*ck yourself" last night because I dared to tell him that sometimes he needs to learn to let things go (he goes on & on until we all concede to his view). I have had enough and I haven't spoken to him since. I just feel calm and know for sure that this is done. A marriage should be a place of love and kindness and we simply do not have that.

He is sole earner & I have been SAHM since eldest was born. I am entirely reliant on him financially. We have a joint mortgage and savings (although I don't know exactly how much and where - DH isn't secretive but let's just say he thinks he knows best and I don't get a say).

How do I begin this process?

What happens if DH refuses to leave or argues that he cannot afford to?
Can he insist that I leave since I am the one who wants the marriage to end? I would be very reluctant to do this because of the impact on DC.

Will DH have to continue to support me? I'm not being precious here - one of DC has special needs which makes my working outside of the home difficult.

I don't want to discuss with DH until I have a clearer picture of how this might work. I started out this thread feeling calm & together but re-reading this has sealed the deal in my mind that I'm in an emotionally abusive marriage and I feel so sad & ridiculous that I've allowed it to continue.

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