I still have feelings for him

[Mk1234]

My ex has just messaged me saying that he needs to speak to me. He came out of prison (low level crime) and since then he has been messaging me every so often saying he needs to speak to me. As our relationship ended on bad terms and i was left heartbroken I have just tried to cut him off since we broke up. The last time i saw him was Nov 2016 just before he was due to go inside, we met up after work in the car, he opened up and was honest, we got close cuddled, kissed and the rest. A few days later i mentioned ive not started my period yet (during our relationship i miscarried twice.) He just reverted back to the old him shouting over the phone and saying i dont want a relationship im due to go inside. It was history repeating, as this is how we broke up first time. So it was left at that.
I met my husband 2 months later we married last summer and had a baby at Christmas.

2 days before i was due to give birth i get a message from ex asking if this was still my number, in January he messaged explaining himself and saying sorry for hurting me and that he just wanted to know if i was ok. I dont think my ex knows that im married.

Since I've met my husband i have not been in contact with him as it did not feel right and especially now that I'm married. I dont even want to message him saying leave me alone as i feel like I'd be betraying my husband. I thought my ex would get the hint that i dont want to know him hence the reason I've not replied to any of his messages. I have a good life with my husband despite his many faults. I genuinely loved my ex, deep down i will always have feelings for him. Since hes messaged me last night i cant get him out my mind and all the good times we shared. My head feels a little all over the place.

Ignore him and block him. You've moved on. This man will bring nothing but drama to your life.

He actually sounds like somebody I know does his name start with R by any chance?

You need to send him a message saying you've married, had a baby and moved on then block and delete.

Don't engage with this bad energy. You've rid of him. Think of him think of the bad times, until you've enough distance to remember good times just fondly. Block and move on

Ex's are ex's often for good reasons.

It sounds like you were in a both abusive and codependent relationship with your ex and that was very bad for you. It also ended badly for you not altogether surprisingly with history repeating itself.

Ignore and block him now from further contacting you, why does he want to talk to you anyway?. This bloke only wants to see if you are still available and he should leave you well alone. He is still wanting to manipulate and use you and by giving him any response you will give him what he wants. Do not fall for such manipulative tactics.

HI

Im am going to brutal....

BLOCK HIS NUMBER AND NEVER REPLY - if you do there will be no happy ending he sounds like a dick, he probably needs somewhere to stay, some money or alike.

You have a husband, a child, a home - money and food - texting him could lead to you having none of the above very quickly and trouble at your door as they say.

Draw a line and move forward not backwards - sorry to sound harsh but my friend did this with her ex and she lost her kids, home, job and her husband all for some low life - both are now heroin addicts (he got into that shite in prison) - i never thought that was her kind of thing at all - her kids were her world.

Please don't think I'm saying your become a heroin addict - I'm not but sometimes a second of wanting to re-live the past has a terrible knock on effect. You don't need or want him as you said your self - "He just reverted back to the old him shouting over the phone and saying i dont want a relationship im due to go inside. It was history repeating, as this is how we broke up first time".

Block his number and/or go and change yours to a new one.

It’s okay to have feelings for him.

It’s not okay to act on them.

Tell your husband he has messaged you. Make sure it’s all above board and you’re not hiding anything. Then block him and never speak to him, unless you (with your husbands knowledge) decide to message back once explaining you’re married and a mother now and don’t ever want to hear from him again.

It sounds like things rushed pretty fast with your husband, you’ve not even known him two years and yet you married and had a child, meeting so shortly after the last time you saw ex. are you worried your husband is a rebound and you made a mistake not sticking it out with ex?

I’m a little confused by the way this written, is the child his? If not, block him and forget about him, he’ll just assume you’ve changed your number. If it is his, you ought to tell him but only have child-related contact.

OP - don’t keep hoping that the ‘good him’ is the real him.
Every time you good that in the past - he turned back to the normal him.
I think you have this romantic idea of him changing for you, because of the love, etc.... And fall for this over and over again.

Don’t do that. You have a normal life now and a baby. It’s not as exciting as the fairy-tale story of reformed bad boy. But it’s a real life.
That sorry is all in your head.

Block the number.

The past few days ive been in such a grumpy mood. I don't intend on contacting him at all. Last night i had a dream about him and it was all so bloody odd and this morning i woke up feeling really down.

I was just drifting through life aimlessly getting older and i knew i had to start settling down, I wasnt attracted to my husband at, i fell for his kindness however it was all for show as hes very arrogant, egotistical and stingy, he is completely different to me. I do love my husband but when he throws 'everything' hes done for me in my face, i loath him, he seems to think that hes a knight thats saved me.

We brought this house that we live in and its it need work doing to it. Ive suggested a few times that we should get it done and ill pay for it. He'll just say that im disrespecting his house. I just want a decent house nothing extravagant just a normal house where i can put my baby down without worrying about slugs on carpets and spiders coming out the skirting. Its just getting doing my head in, i feel like all i do is clean bugs and make sure the house is clean and bug free all the time.

I am grateful for what i have but i just want my baby to have better but my husband's stingyness is annoying me to say the least. Im looking at my baby boy and hes so innocent and he deserves the world but i know.

You know what i keep thinking about my ex and i really miss him i really do. I was looking at old photos on my email drive and just the memories came back, he was the love of my life, we made plans and had dreams. I really feel overwhelming sad. I know i would never be stupid enough to jeopardise my marriage but why cant i just brush all theses emotions off.

OP - that Ex that is in your head - isn’t real.
It’s an escape fantasy you have - especially given that you seem to be unhappy in your marriage.

That Ex - he didn’t really want you when you were single. He left.
Then came back to use you for a bit of fun times - but the moment there was a hint of a relationship - your possible pregnancy - his mask came off...

As a side note - the marriage you do have won’t survive. You can’t stay and be this unhappy.
Sorry.

Take control...its your life, your decisions, your choices.
If you abdicate responsibility to someone else then you're a fool...

If you want your marriage to work you need to delete all photo's
Block him on everything.
Then move forward.
But, from here, it sounds like you love your Ex more than your DH so it might be good to do your DH a favour and leave him.
He's sounding like he's starting to be a bit abusive too, which is not going to end well for you.
It's not HIS house. It's both of your house.
Why does HE get to decide what happens?
I honestly think you would be far better away from both of them.

Call Womens Aid and do their Freedom Programme.
And read THIS THREAD