Romantic rejection..

[Diffident]

..ok I'm am 40something man, relatively inexperienced in love. I asked a lovely single female colleague out and she turned me down. Do you think it is unreasonable to ask her not to tell our other colleagues? I feel like such an idiot.

Unless she is a cowbag, what makes you think she would say anything? I for sure wouldn't in the circs you state.

And don't feel like an idiot. You tried, she said no, that's all.

Well done for trying in the first place, I know it's not easy!

She's lovely in every way and did indicate she wants to be friends so you are probably right. I don't normally ask people out and so I'm usually on my own. It's really hard to take the blow to my confidence. I. 100% aware I've absolutely no divine right to a relationship but truthfully it can be hard not to judge yourself when someone says no thanks. I wrote a short text message saying I was sorry for blurting it out and wishing her a nice day.

If she has any tact and sensitivity she won't tell anyone. But it wouldn't be an unreasonable thing to ask her, if it'd put your mind at rest.

If she's lovely I'd hope she wouldn't go telling the world - that would reflect really badly on her tbh.
Better luck next time.

Thanks. I hate how self-obsessed this all must sound. I know I need to work on my confidence. It's just that for me one person saying no means no-one will be interested. Intellectually I know this isn't necessarily true but in all honesty it's hard not to look at my flaws of which there are plenty and say what did you expect. The words people posted were very much appreciated. She just wrote back as I was posting this and was very kind in her message "don't be silly I'm really touched you asked" words to that effect. It'll probably make me love her even more

You're not alone, so don't feel you are. It's hard for everyone, in fact I have never had the guts to ask anyone out in my entire life and I am in my mid 40s with a shockingly meagre relationship history. It's so easy to see our flaws but not our qualities.

You did the hardest thing, next time, next woman, it will be easier.

She sounds nice and I don't think you have anything to worry about re her blabbing about you. Chin up.