Help!! Husband is stopping me from working

[IKRAM91]

My husband is stopping me from working and refusing to pay for our kids(3y/18months) childcare.

He gets paid £900/week. He only gives us £75. And within 2 days sometimes he comes back to borrow money from me and if I refuse he will stop giving me money for few weeks.
We are living with his mum and she pays all the bills.
Also I know that he smokes weed/ and loves spending money on his cars.

I've gone true depression when I had my second baby because no one is helping me with kids. I don't have no family no friends here as I'm from Morocco.

I need someone to advise me what can I do ? I want to work but I can't afford paying for two kids childcare. Also he does abuse me verbally. And I m scared that he stops my visa or send me back to my country without my kids.
Sorry if what i wrote is long. And thank you in advance for reading my problem.

Your husband is abusing you.
Contact Women's aid for advice.
If you are married with children, if you split up he will have to financially support you

My darling this is abuse. There is supper out there and I'm sure another MN will come along with better advice. Do you have any friends you can go to with the children?

Please contact women’s aid to discuss a plan of action. This is domestic abuse.

He is financially and verbally abusing you.

Speak to women's aid and a solicitor for advice. He is responsible for your children and for financing their childcare etc.

Sorry you are having to deal with this. His behaviour is unacceptable!

Please please get help from women's aid.

You would be so much better off without him!

He just can't stop your visa.

How much would childcare for 2 children be for a week? He's clearly abusive, but my youngest is 16 yo. Monthly nursery fees for full time was £1000. That's in London and was several years ago...but is it financially viable for you to work, even if he was a good man?

How much would your income be?

Phone Women's Aid as pp's have said. Get advice and plan of action going. No, of course he won't be able to 'stop' your Visa.

I'm presuming he is a UK born British Citizen or has ILR, so like far too many of these men he's holding it over your head that if you dont obey him and accept abuse etc then he can have you returned to your country as your stay in the Uk is not regulated/permanent as yet.

He's in for a shock when he finds out his word is not the law here, and that 'exceptional' circumstances do carry weight.

Women's Aid can guide and help you, also put you in touch with other relevant agencies.

I hope you do get up, and out of your situation. Your husband is nasty, its no way to live

If he is British, divorce him straight away, he is an utter arse!! But before you tell him, get photocopies of payslips, bank statements etc. You should get decent maintenance on that income.

Thank you ❤️ everyone for your replies, it made me cry as I knew something is wrong and it can be right especially in a country like the UK.
And Yes he's a British born and we live in London.

I will call women's aid. Even though I am still scared from him and his reaction.

Yes you are bound to be scared. Just get as much advice and support as possible. Don't forget 'Victim Support' - they're a good organisation, Women's Aid may link you with them also. There's help out there for you. Good luck.

welcome to the club! I have a similar situation, my husband also didn't want me to start working if I'll get job with low pay. I got job offer anyway, and he is now demanding me to pay 50/50, what will leave me zero of own money.

I'm going to call Womens aid this week.

Don't you consider to come back to Morocco? It might be easier for you if you have there family and friends.Just take kids with you and divorce him from there.

What visa do you have? He can't cancel it anyway, whatever he says (I've heard the same from my husband about how he will send me home). If you will separate you can't stay on spouse visa, but you can get "divorce"visa for the term while you'll be divorcing and after visa of parent of British children (are they?).

Hope you'll find the way!))

Also a thought: You are definitely entitled to 15, if not 30 hours free childcare for your 3 year old which may only leave your 18 month old to pay for if you were working part time hours. Your 18 month old may also qualify for funding when they turn 2 so please don’t worry about coping financially as a single parent if you decide to leave the relationship.

I got a spouse visa also If I decided to divorce him I will have to stay here because it's much secured than my country.

If I go back to Morocco he can take my kids so easy. (Over there you can buy anything with money even government and rights).

Hi i arrived in uk few months ago and my relationship is already in crisis my husband threads me using my visa status and have confisticated my pakistani passport in case if i say something against him he would send me back to pakistan and cancel my spouse visa also he doesnt want me to work wht should i do plzzzz help

Hi Asma
You should start your own thread on here. You’ll get more replies from a new thread.
Sorry you’re going through this.

Click on Start new thread in this topic

Hi OP - try the MWN Helpline: mwnhelpline.co.uk/

@Asma1111: www.britishpakistanfoundation.com/resources/resources-for-women/

Both of you can also look for local services via your London Borough Webpage eg: 'Lewisham domestic abuse services' or go to Lewisham Council Domestic Abuse help

For visa issues/questions try Rights of Women: rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/immigration-and-asylum-law/ Call them for free legal advice.

Which country were the children born in?

Oh ignore me