My Girlfriends been acting strangely, what should I do?

[Jim311]

So long story short,

I'm been dating this India girl for a year, we met at work and it's been amazing, so romantic and passionate, we've never had a bad date. I went travelling for 2 months and she came out with me for 2 weeks, I lived with her for 2 weeks before I went as I rented out my place (her idea).

She's 26, I'm 31, about 6 weeks ago she rang me and broke up with me out the blue, said she wasn;t ready for another relationship (after 10 months?!) said I was the love of her life and she's never been this happy but she needs to be on her own for a bit. I told her it would be the last she'd hear from me and I'd not chase her, 1 week later she called and text saying she'd made a huge mistake and didn't want to lose me so we got back together, for my birthday (3 weeks ago) she paid for us to go to Italy for 4 days and arranged everything as a present, we had the most amazing time. Barely let go of each other. Ever since we got back she's been different, I've seen her once in 3 weeks (we used to see each other at least twice and spend weekends, we live a couple of hours apart). Everytime I ask to meet up she says "she'll let me know" and never does. She still texts me all the time, the last time I saw her we had the most amazing night, met for lunch, stayed out till midnight, by the end of the evening we couldn't walk 10 steps without stopping to kiss.

Everyone has said be friendly but distant, if I don't reply to her messages she'll send another one a few hours later, but the times I've asked her to meet up she's said she doesn't know when she'd be free? In the past she'd say to me "tell me what day and I'll make sure I'm free"

I don't know what happened?! The last time I saw her she told me I had no idea just how in love with me she was. I mentioned moving in together but she said she was nervous, we had a holiday booked to go to France in 2 weeks but she's not sure if she wants to go anymore! I said lets end it and called it off if she didn't want to be with me but she rang me asking for me back saying she loves me.

If she loves me so much why wouldn't she want to see me?! Why text me so much but keep me so distant?! It doesn't feel like she wants to end the relationship, I tried, she could have just walked away but she didn;t want to. I don;t know what to do!

Could it be because of your different cultures? She's scared her family won't approve perhaps.

Or maybe she cheated while you were away and feels guilty.

Either way...tell her it's not working with the way she doesn't respond and this isn't what you're looking for in a relationship.

Her behavior is not acceptable. Maybe she likes knowing how much you like her, maybe you are a safety net, maybe she is trying to be with someone else... Only she knows why she is being so hot and cold.

I wouldn't accept this, personally. You have to decide how much more of this carry-on you are prepared to tolerate.

I'm not sure what to do though, I don;t want to do this chat over the phone but she is being so elusive. Whenever we are together in person she just seems so in love, she barely lets go of my arm.

Last time I saw her she was saying she's never felt this way about anyone before and that she hopes we can have more evenings as perfect as that one was.... The second we're apart she just changed?!

And it's only the last 3 weeks she's been like it, she paid to take me to Italy 4 weeks ago?!? Who does that for a person they're not sure about!

Do her family know about you?

She says they do, she rang me upset a few months ago because she wanted them to meet me but they didn't have much interest.

She says her parents don;t believe in dating in their culture so turn a blind eye. "Out of sight out of mind" type thing

I mean she came with me to Indonesia for 2 weeks, people would have wondered where she went!

Maybe her parents are the problem for her. Maybe she doesn't want to go against them? She could have liked to them about where she was going.

It sounds like you are fighting a losing battle. Surely she can't expect you to put up with her behaviour. It's not fair on you at all.

Lied*

Have you post before

Maybe they are forcing her into an arranged marriage?

Is she married or living with someone? I'd always assume that with someone so unavailable.

Fundamentally she's not treating you well. You deserve better. Block her and move on.

I'm guessing that her family/culture/religion is making it difficult for her. She seems to love you but it may be very difficult for her to be with you. Have you discussed that with her?

Deep down she knows that you have no future because of her family-she may even have a boyfriend that her family approve of .
Move on

she wanted them to meet me but they didn't have much interest.

There's your answer.

Does she live at home? If not it's easy to go away for a couple of weeks.

She could have said it was a work trip or she was going away with friends.

Dating/marrying out of the culture/religion isn't welcome in some cultures.

I've got a friend who married our of her ethnicity and none of her 7 siblings attended her wedding.

Your GF knows the opposition she's going to face

Sorry OP but the culture does matter. At uni so many of my friends went out with other faiths or ethnicity's but at the end of the day married who was acceptable for the family. She is young, family is important and they don't ever understand I'm afraid. I know we live in modern times and sometimes it works, but without family support I'd say it's time to move on.