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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I miss my friend

1 reply

anna231a · 31/08/2018 23:31

This particular friend and I live some distant away from each other and our talking is done on Messanger and phone, although we've met up a couple of times too. We used to talk almost everyday and had a good relationship, sharing our daily lives. We both have Aspergers and a history of mental health probems and now and again we'd talk about these - it was good having someone who understood. Mostly though our chat was the sort you'd have any day with any friend.

Earlier this year he tried to commit suicide - he sent me a message late one night saying he'd taken an overdose and wanted to die. I called an ambulance and thank goodness he survived. Our relationship got closer after this - it was a rare day that I didn't hear from him, sharing bits and pieces about our lives and we had plans to meet up in September.

I knew that he was an alcoholic and was starting to drink quite heavily again after a couple of years "dry". About 3 weeks ago he told me that he was going to try and stop drinking. At first we "talked" as usual but then he told me he was really struggling and that his head was all over the place and he wasn't in a good place to talk. I understood (I think) but every couple of days or so I'd send him a message, just asking how he was. Often he didn't reply but then I got a message from him saying that he couldn't deal with my messages. I backed off and a few days later he sent me a message asking how I was. It's been like that since - sometimes (couple of times a week) I message him and sometimes he messages me but they are brief "Im good, how are you" type messages, not like the chats we used to have before.

This sounds so silly and selfish, but I really miss my friend. It is a friendship, not a romantic relationship and I have other good friends and a good social life, but I really miss not having this person in my daily life. It makes me so sad that I often cry about it.

I think I've written this post because I don't really know or understand what he will be going through, I don't know if/how I can help him and can/will our friendship go back to what it was before.

Sorry this is so long.

OP posts:
Goldilocks3Bears · 31/08/2018 23:42

Thank you for sharing. Like all relationships, sometimes friendships end before we are ready and it can be difficult.

You sound like a nice person and I think you will meet other friends.

All the best

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