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Original poster

When would you allow child's partner to meet the family

18 replies

stephenstjohn · 31/08/2018 22:02

Hi. Just curious at what stage you allow this. My eldest son is 22 and has had casual partners in the past. I've met 1 of them. Usually only lasting a couple of weeks HmmConfused so after meeting the last one, I said to him that I don't think it's best we invite them over in the future until it's properly established. He is now with a new girl. It has been 8 weeks. I have other children. 9, 15 and 18. None are particularly interested in meeting. 18 year old obviously knows the history.

Just looking for advice if we should meet them now or??

OP posts:
Gncq · 31/08/2018 22:07

I'd want to meet all of my child's partners before they date them personally. But as for introducing the rest of the family... it's a bit much too early on. Probably not necessary for a few months or until the partner expresses interest.

nuttyknitter · 31/08/2018 22:09

I think you should meet them
whenever they are ready. It's bizarre to put a time limit on it - it may be a flash in the pan or it may be the real deal - it really doesn't matter.

PristineCondition · 31/08/2018 22:09

At anytime. Its no different then having a friend over for dinner.
Tell the other to have some manners, it will be them doing the same soon

Desmondo2016 · 31/08/2018 22:11

Whenever him and her decide they want you to! It's not really a 'thing'. He's 22 not 16!

Ohyesiam · 31/08/2018 22:14

Why do you not want them to come over until it’s properly established.?

Are you talking a formal Meet the Family, ( maybe that scares them off!!)or do they just come in on their way to his room?
Is it that you think a string of gfs is a bad influence on the younger kids?

I seem to have a lot of questions, so maybe we just need more info.

user1493413286 · 31/08/2018 22:15

In the nicest possible way I don’t really think it’s your decision and should be left up to him. If you’ve only met one then it’s not like he’s bringing a succession of different girls over

JavaJava · 31/08/2018 22:15

Eh? Whenever they are happy with it? I don't see the problem.

Original poster
stephenstjohn · 31/08/2018 22:18

The point is. He's the one who always wanted to bring them to visit. He doesn't live at home. He always gets very involved and think they are a future wife. He has been since his first gf and then it only lasts a week or 2. It's seems to much to constantly bring them into the house to meet. So I said no to the first few as it was usually after a few days!! The one I met was after about 3 weeks. This one has been the longest and he wants to.

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 31/08/2018 22:22

He's an adult so I think it's up to him to decide when he brings someone home.

I've always welcomed anyone my sons choose to bring home whether it's a girlfriend or just a friend. Our house rules are that all and any friends are welcome, but only long term girlfriends are allowed to stay over.

DramaAlpaca · 31/08/2018 22:31

Oh, I see. I didn't realise he doesn't live at home. I sort of see what you mean now, but I actually think it's quite nice that he wants to bring his girlfriends home to meet you all.

JavaJava · 31/08/2018 22:32

The point is. He is 22. It's up to him. Why is it a big deal to you? You don't treat her like she is your daughter, you treat her nicely like the new girlfriend of your son.
It has nothing to do with you really

Ohyesiam · 31/08/2018 23:19

Does he value your opinion on them? Maybe he’s looking for some input from you.

MajesticWhine · 31/08/2018 23:24

I don't really understand the question. My children's partners are welcome in my house whether they are serious, casual or whatever. Not a big deal.
I wouldn't be keen on them staying over necessarily, as a PP said.

NonaGrey · 31/08/2018 23:27

I think that’s a kind of strange attitude. They’re his friends, why wouldn’t you want to meet his friends?

Why is it such a big deal if his siblings meet a friend of his?

You are closing yourself out of a big part of his life.

He could end up in future marrying someone you barely know because you refused to meet anyone he wasn’t “serious” about.

I bet you meet your 18 yo and 15 yo’s boyfriends and girlfriends. I don’t see why it’s any different.

Ellapaella · 31/08/2018 23:34

Wow.. at 22 I was with child and settled down! 22 really is not a child, at 22 he is a grown man.
My DS is 16, if he wanted to bring a girlfriend home to meet us that would be absolutely fine, in fact I'd much rather he felt comfortable bringing someone home than not. He has two younger siblings, they'd be dying to meet a girlfriend if he had one.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 31/08/2018 23:35

It's seems to much to constantly bring them into the house to meet

You’ve only met one of them, it’s hardly a constant stream 😂🤣

What are you planning on doing that’s ‘too much’. A few extra spuds and salad...

Sisterlove · 31/08/2018 23:43

I don't want to be meeting Tom dick and harry.

At least 3 to 4 months. 6 preferably when my DC has got to know them better.

They can weed out the useless ones before I meet them. If I'd introduced every BF it would have been mad. I soon found out they were idiots and got rid. No needs for my parents and siblings to meet them.

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 31/08/2018 23:49

I'd want to meet all of my child's partners before they date them personally.

Umm what? Confused that’s weirdly over involved!

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