Am I in the wrong here?

[jpuser]

Hi all, I was hoping for some advice and perspective.

I have been with my girlfriend for over 6 months now. During the time I have been seeing her (and before) I have had a painting on my stairs that is really good but happened to be painted by my ex of 5 years who i broke up with at the start of last year (who I have a bit of an ongoing legal battle with).

A couple of weeks ago I decided to decorate a wall with about 50+ photos. In one of the photos I was in fancy dress and with my best friend, my ex also happened to be in that photo (not standing next to me and you wouldn't know was my ex unless you knew me).

My current girlfriend is super upset about this and accusing me of disrespecting her and now has decided she has a massive issue with the photo and the painting. I think its ridiculous, petty and jealousy. The painting for me is there as I love the painting (not because of who painted it) and the photo is funny as its fancy dress with my best friend.

I discussed it with her and apparently it is nothing because of jealously but she doesn't want reminding of my ex or the legal situation (which we don't really discuss at her request). Which I guess I can understand but don't agree should be an issue for her.

Do you think I am right in that this shouldn't be an issue or that I am being insensitive/disrespectful/big headed and should take it down? I know it sounds ridiculous (in my mind anyway) but I believe it is potentially at a level where she is now doubting our relationship over this, which really concerns me as to if we have bigger issues to get through in the future!

Thank you for any help in advance!

It would bother me. I'm in my 40s. No I'm not insecure or think for a moment my DH would leave me for his exW but if we were in your scenario I would find it disrespectful. End of.

Thankfully my DH is very emotionally intelligent and removed any remaining pictures of his exW once I asked him to, calmly and politely, may I add.

Sofas etc are another issue. Given we're not loaded and hate the idea of waste it's taken a lot longer to replace old furniture but we are doing, when we can.

I would NEVER put a picture of my ex up in my home and he is my children’s father! For me, I wouldn’t even be comfortable with that and god knows how it would make my partner feel.

Have you asked yourself how your ex would feel if she knew you were displaying pictures of her in your home?

Just my opinion, but I think you should respect your girlfriend isn’t comfortable with it and take it down.

I find it odd that you would put up a picture with your ex in, and that you would keep her painting of you on display. I think that you are being disrespectful to your current partner, and that you are fully aware of how provocative both pictures are.

If you think that she is so jealous and petty, why don't you just end the relationship? You won't. But I bet that you keep the pictures up and get a little buzz out of her being 'so insecure' about them.

Also, I would absolutely not be happy if my ex had pictures of me displayed in his home, whether he was in a new relationship of not. I certainly wouldn’t want a new partner of his feeling uncomfortable because he was displaying pictures of me either.

My ex had strops like this. He turned out to be chronically insecure and jealous/controlling to the point that it destroyed the relationship.

Perhaps he would have been happier splitting with me and finding someone who was as insecure in a similar way. Instead he refused to break up for years and preferred to attempt to force me to become him... Agony. He could have just been with someone he was suited to...

My current dp has a photo of his ex with other friends on the fridge. It's a happy memory for him. I'd never dream of removing it. Said ex recently fell out with him quite significantly and the photo stays - the argument doesn't compromise the happy memories or the love of the broader friend group.

She's not for you op. Don't sign up to be with someone who you don't naturally and easily fit with. it's a fucking photo /painting ffs. It's not "disrespectful". Don't let the commonly held romantic insecurities of our culture affect you

She’s being ridiculous. Completely ridiculous.

run!