Exclusive? Discuss

[Goldilocks3Bears]

So I live in the U.K. and just had a chat with a US friend about my current man situation and she asked “are you exclusive?”

Nobody I know here dates multiple people at once but it seems to be normal in the US until the “exclusive” conversation takes place.

I would love to hear what you all think. I honestly don’t think I’d have the time to juggle more than one guy and be a fte single mum...

If you're single, nothing wrong with dating more than one person and keeping it light. As long as those you date are of the same mind.
You'll eventually find someone with whom you want to be exclusive.

Just to make clear - I’m not considering it, just curious about what people think about exclusivity.

If someone hasn't claimed you as their girlfriend then you can keep your options open...I do...not focussing on one guy helps me to stay balanced and not emotionally invest too much in one guy. Otherwise there's too much pressure on that one situation...Guys can inevitably feel that and they get turned off. You can assume he is keeping his options open too until the point you discuss to be bf/gf or be exclusive.....right ?

It's definitely a good idea to keep your options open. If you're a single mum, dating various men cuts down on the temptation to introduce them to your kids too soon: they're just 'Mummy's friends'. Also, it will stop you 'settling' for the first knob who shows an interest.

There definitely has to be a discussion, exclusiveness can not be assumed.

One of the reasons I've stopped dating for now, I don't like the idea of dating multiple people at once after a few dates and it seems to be the norm.

I don't think multiple dating is the norm, at least not in Europe. Most of the people I know don't date multiple people at the same time.

NatVoll - what if you are dating someone and they say they really like you but they are not ready to move things forward into a relationship yet..but want to keep getting to know you to see how things go... This is scenario I had..he was not emotionally available or ready for a relationship as he had huge family issues going on. We are still friends and still have romantic feelings for each other and spend time together, kiss etc, go on dates where he pays and treats me well, but although he says he doesn't want to play the field.... he is not stepping up and moving things forward or doing much initiating, so I am keeping my options open. I am not going to commit to him by waiting for him to be ready..which could be
6 months..it could be never - and I would have gotten emotionally invested...and not entertaining any other options myself. That would be me committing to him, when he is not able or ready to commit to a relationship ...so would be limiting myself.

It's fine to play the field and keep a relationship casual as long as you are upfront about it. However, if you are the one who is being told this and you want more commitment, you may need to set a time limit (in your own mind) and move on if it's not on offer. It doesn't mean the other person is in the wrong but when one person wants commitment and the other isn't bothered, things get unpleasant after a while.