My Girlfriend of a year doesn t ever seem to want to see me but still texts me constantly. She says shes madly in love with me?

[Jim311]

We ve been together a year, our dates are always really romantic and passionate and she ll hold my hand pretty much the entire time, it s almost like we re teenagers (I m 31). About 3 weeks ago she took me to Italy as a present and we had the most amazing time but ever since we ve been back shes been different. She still texts me loads but whenever I ask to meet up she always very non commital and says she ll let me know and never does.

She broke up with me about 2 months ago saying she wasn t ready for a relationship but begged for me back saying she didnt want to lose the passion we had a week later, last week I ended it as I said I couldn t deal with how passionate she was on dates but then how cold she went when I wasn t around, I ve also met none of her friends or family after a year! She won me back again. We talk about having kids and getting married and she told me after we last broke up I ve no idea just how madly in love with me she is. If that was true wouldn t she want to spend time with me?

As I said, she still texts me all the time, I ve been backing off a little and stopped asking her to meet up. I don t know what to think?! If she doesn t want to spend time with me why doesn t she just end it?! Or better yet, after I broke up with her why didn t she just accept the free escape I gave her.

When we re together it s incredible, she says she s never had a relationship like it and been so in love and neither have I. Why does she not want to see me? I'm so at a loss of what to do!

Is she trying to hide something? Either physically or where she is?

She's married

If this was a woman posting about a man we'd all jump to he's married! You haven't met any of her friends, she's difficult to pin down and communication is through text. Are your dates in public in her home area? Are you on her social media?

Sadly I don't think you're the only relationship in her life.
You could start checking her out on social media, but frankly the choice is - can you continue on this very part time basis or if you want a closer relationship with someone ? I would call it a day with her and then get back out there to find someone who wants the same sort of relationship / commitment that you want

Well we used to spend 2-3 nights a week together. I went travelling for 2 months and she flew out to Bali for 2 weeks with me, I lived with her for 2 weeks before I left. She's Indian so not sure if that's an issue, it's basically since we got back from Italy she's been different

She's playing the field. You are not the only one.

We met at work so I know all her work mates

Yep, she's interested in someone else and you're the fall back option in case that doesn't work. Just say to her that you're not interested anymore. Suddenly being unavailable to her will make her annoyed to the point where she'll start chasing you. If she doesn't...then you have your answer. I'm not usually one to play games, but this girl is quite clearly a player and as such you use her own methods against her.

Cultural or regious difficults

Are you not Indian? If not then yes, she might be madly in love but hiding you from her family and 'other' traditional life. She's compartmentalized her two lives and you only fit into one. Have you discussed her family with her, and their expectations of her? You need to find out if madly in love is going to process. If her family are tradition she is being torn between her love for you and her love for them. Is she willing to merge her two lives? Is she prepared for the fight?

Has she read The Far Pavilions?