Should I trust my gut?

[Looneyloo]

I’m really in need of some advice.

Been with current partner 2 + years. On Tuesday he said he wouldn’t be able to see me today (Thursday) as he had a really busy work schedule. Yesterday I was getting dressed in my bedroom and his phone was lying on my chest of drawers. A text came through from (I think) his friend which read “yea, I’ll get ready once I’ve had a haircut and been to the gym, see you then” He hadn’t mentioned anything to me about seeing a friend but I just left asking him about it. He worked from home yesterday at my place. Tonight I went into my kitchen cupboard and noticed a bag of alcohol was missing. He had obviously taken it out yesterday, while I was at work and put it in his car so he could take it home with him today, without me seeing he had taken it.

What I don’t understand is

1. Why would he arrange to meet his friend and no the tell me about it.
2. Why go out of his way to take the bag of alcohol out to the car when I’m at work? Why not just leave it at the bottom of the hall (where he leaves the rest of his stuff lying) and take it to the car when he was leaving.

I actually feel like I’m going crazy for thinking there’s something in this, but, I really think he was actually planning on seeing his friend tonight and drinking but didn’t want to tell me. Why though? He also said he can’t see me tomorrow as he has a an all day/night work doo to go to.

I did text him earlier about the bag of alcohol and he basically sent a big rant back saying I was off my head.

Am I being paranoid?

Yea, I just don’t get why he wouldn’t say he was seeing/going out with his friend and taking the booze with his. It’s all this sneaking about that’s making me think there’s something more in it.

Also, I’ve just remembered - the other day when I asked him about the works doo he said it’s something he has to go to in a hotel today then a meal, then a night out for a girl in his work as she is going off on mat leave. Who TF has a night out if they’re going off on maternity leave I live in a big city and he said the night out is in the city centre, why would a heavily pregnant woman want to have a night out in pubs and clubs because she’s finishing up on mat leave 😐

Why are you accepting this? You know you can't trust him.

He's cheated and he's gonna cheat again.
The name in the phone of his 'friend' is a woman (or he's bi)
He's a liar.
He's abusive with gaslighting you and you really need to ask if you should trust your gut?
Yes - dump this lying, cheating sleazebag and leave him to it.
Value yourself more than this.
And I would suggest getting in touch with Womens Aid and doing their Freedom Programme ASAP.
Red flags all over the place here and you are choosing to ignore them - why???

Our 'gut' feel is often wrong. That's why it's not used in a court of law. Evidence is what you want. However, you're not in court but in a relationship with a liar.
There are signs here of something untoward. I'd finish this relationship - he sounds fundamentally dishonest.

I don't think our gut feeling is 'often' wrong.
I think it's usually bang on!
You see on here all the time and they are rarely rarely wrong.
As with me, my gut instinct on both occasions was spot on.
You just 'know'
And no, it isn't proof, it's all we need to begin with until we find the proof.

My gut is usually right. I trust it without question.

Not sure which is most disturbing, beating someone up to the point of it being attempted murder or making up that you did for sympathy?
Get out while you can. This guy is dangerously unhinged and will damage your mental health.

My gut was bang on too, about the time he went to that girls house. I knew there was more in it than him just bumping into her in a nightclub. I knew he had been contacting her beforehand. I just didn’t have the proof at the time. And I was right as per what I said about finding the texts in his phone.

You can't always 'trust your gut' and that has been proven numerous times on MN.

The OP isn't going on a gut feeling though. He's a proven liar who has done it time and time again. She's acting on that - her 'gut' has nowt to do with it.

Why on earth are you still with him Op?

Christ. Get rid. Today. Pack his stuff up and get the locks changed. He's the deranged one. He's taking the piss and gaslighting you. Your gut is always right. Always.

Do you live together?

Oh sorry, cross post

You can't trust him. You know this. He's lying to you and has done repeatedly. What sort of future do you think this has?

Bin him. Really sorry.

OP he is a pathological liar and undoubtedly a cheat as well. Please get rid of him. I am baffled why you have tolerated this bs for so long. He will not change. You deserve so much better. Stop engaging with him, go NC and block him.

This all just sounds unnecessarily dramatic. Does he really add anything to your life?

What did you do in the end?