Would you divorce whilst child is doing gives?

[DollyMay]

Just that really.
I have come to the end of my teather.
Emotional abusive since we have been married 16 years ago.
Bit DD going into GSCE year. It's too much to do it now isn't it?
Wished I had done it years ago

Obviously title should say GCSE s

Please someone reply
This is the first time I actually have the strength to go.
I told him today that my period was 5 days late I'm 44 years old.
He said well if you are then it's somebody else's as I'm so carefuel.

1 Go to GP and see about your options, you could maybe have a coil fitted and you can have a termination if you are pregnant.

2 YOur daughter will probably be LESS stressed by living just with you than by living with you and the man who is abusing you.

having watched my parents marriage break down (he had an affair)) I can only advise that you hold it together like a concrete wall after the divorce, my mother did not and my sister went completely off the rails. Mostly that doesn't happen.

YOu cannot be abused forever.

Sorry I wouldn't no.

I doubt that doing GCSEs in a house filled with the kind of atmosphere you’re describing is going to be any good either.
And I don’t think there is ever a good time, you’ve just got to bite the bullet.
Get out before Christmas and then concentrate on helping your child to do well in exams in a calm peaceful environment.

Sorry op, didn't want to read and run.

Have you spoken to your dd about leaving your dh ? If it's been going on all her life, you might be surprised at her reaction and the way she handles the aftermath.

Yes I would leave.

I think it is unhealthy to “stay together for the kids”, exams or not.

I hope you are ok, he sounds an utter twat

of course i would, a home with peace and harmony is surely a better environment to study in. emotional abuse is so draining on everyone.

I think
Your child’s chances would be improved by moving away from a relationship like that

OP - if you really can’t take it anymore - then of course, do what you need to do to stay sane.
And you know your child’s - and what their reaction would be.
I’d do it sooner rather than later. At least there is still some time to the exams.

But - obviously - if you could keep it together for after the exams - and maybe prepare all you need to move swiftly - during this time - that would be better.

As to the period being late - by 5 day - what sort of reaction did you expect? That comment alone doesn’t demonstrate much.

Sorry that was far too brief, a knee jerk response.

It would depend on the level and type of abuse and how much your DD is exposed to it. If she currently has little idea of how affected you are and has a good relationship with her Dad then this could totally mess with her psychologically at a very challenging time. As pp mentions, if she is witness to the abuse then a calm environment with just you would be beneficial.

I would plan on doing it very soon after though so the dust can settle before the next stage.

I don’t think any time is a good time. My plan was after both DC had left school, but in the end I said I wanted a divorce in DC2’s 1st year A Levels (DC1 at uni). What I didn’t expect was the process to take 27 months.

What does he mean he’s so careful? I actually learnt to protect myself from my XH’s comments till they had no effect on me whatsoever...and sex never happened for years before the end

I lived like you are 'living'.

It is wonderful without him. For all of us.

Our marriage imploded around GCSE time for DS. I dont know what impact it had but I genuinely think it made little difference at the time and in the long term absolutely no difference at all. If you wait till after GCSEs are over then there are a levels - when will you go? And dont kid yourself your DD is oblivious to your situation, she is probably all too aware your relationship is crap.

Leave now - before mocks & the exams kick in. That way by the time the actual exams come round you can provide a calmer environment for your Dd.

I would, in your circumstance.

If not now, when? She might be doing A Levels next which would leave you in the same position. You can't stay this unhappy for that long.

A friend's parents divorced as soon as she went to uni and it shattered her: she realised that they'd stayed together for her sake which made her feel ever so guilty and as if she'd been lied to.

There won't be a good time, so do what you need to do.

No good time, unless they're really small. If you think WW2 might kick off, I might wait (having picked a similar timing!) but then I was starting to fear for our lives and couldn't wait any longer. If you think it would help, you could warn him of your thinking and maybe he'll make an effort and improve the atmosphere a little until you're ready.

There's about 8 months before next year's GCSEs - go now and the dust will have settled well before then.

Leave now. I had the same happen with my parents during my GSCEs. It probably helped me that I had something (exams) to focus on while it was happening. It can't be a great environment for your DD now anyway.

You could be waiting a long time for the right time. If you've found courage/ strength/ determination to leave, then now is the right time.

I split up with my ex half way through DS1s GCSE year. He did fine. It really depends on how you handle it. If you both keep things as normal as possible for the kids and avoid drama that will really help.
(We had some drama)

Agree with most pp. As someone whose GCSE years were considerably more affected by the atmosphere created by constant nasty (sulking, shouting, throwing stuff, bordering on getting physical ) arguments between my parents than would have been the case if they had just split up. Which they did during the summer after anyway. Do it.

Better now than next April.

My parents divorced during my GCSEs. It was crap. They were so rebuilding their own lives I got no support whatsoever. That continued.

It suited them to think that my siblings and I were old enough and their job in raising us was done.

Children are ALWAYS affected by abuse in the home. Leave.