Beat this for tight exH!

[Twillow]

Our DD needs some new school PE socks. I am working shop hours until school starts so she asked him to take her. He said to her tell your mum to send you with the money, because I give her money for you (£140 maintenance each month - I pay for all clothes, school meals, trips and after-school activities, because I'm not prepared to make the child suffer over our bad relationship). This man earns three times what I do.

Making a point over £5. How tight is that!!

I’m sorry 💐

How tight? Very tight! I am sorry.

Hopefully karma will come round one day. His own child. Hard to fathom.

My ex is the same, won't even pay for a haircut for my son.
He has even added his new partners kids who are 15 and 18 to his claim with cms cos i had the cheek as he said to ask for a contribution to dds music lesson.
He added them out of pure spite

What a prick! Is that all he needs to pay? If it is that's a shocking amount, he should be ashamed.

What a cunt.

My ex is the same. However, he rarely sees DS but has still gone to CSM, lied about how often he sees DS to have the money he gives me reduced as he has to pay petrol to see DS. He fucking moved away not me!!! They’ve reduced his payments! Arseholes!

@needsahouseboy that's awful, have you tried appealing it? I had some success with them when he tried to get it cut by lying about days but the school backed up where DD was staying, fortunately.

@Brandnewshit awful - I didn't know stepchildren could be included in CMS?

Yes, upto the age of 20 if they are attending college.
Its a fucking joke

@Timeisslippingaway you'd think so, but he feels entirely justified in his resentful and entitled attitude. He has basically lost one of our children already because of it, the younger will probably see the light too. So, karma, yes. But I just feel sorry for our children that are caught in the cross-fire. He insists it is the break-up that is the problem, rather than all the shit beforehand which made me leave and all the acrimony afterwards which made me 100% glad I did.

@Brandnewshit wow you'd think their responsibility would be between their biological parents! That's not fair. I never got any maintenance for the oldest, can't remember why, I think it was to do with him appealing and being given the child benefit for one of them, again lying even though that child hardly ever stayed there. But they believed him even though we left through DA, were renting and having to share bedrooms as without the gateway child benefit I was on a higher threshold for housing benefit at the time. And he didn't need the money!! It was definitely spite and his own sense of entitlement.

Mine is of a similar mentality - pays the bare minimum. DD goes over for tea and she comes home later having had no tea!

My ex earns double what I do but hasn't paid a penny towards the children in 4 months. On top of that the other day when he was meant to have them he said he had nothing to feed them with so I had to take them with a bag of shopping so they could eat! On top of day to day costs, childcare and uniform shopping it's a complete piss take!

I don't understand the sense of entiltlement or just in general be such arse holes! Hugs to you! But at least we are all better off without them xx

They must be so proud of themselves, but the only one who is really suffering is their child.

But how/ why does this invariably happen. So many men walk away and start again with another family, as though the first one was nothing to do with them?

It's so tight, I'm sorry .

Perhaps just buy them online to avoid thr drama?

Oh my ex plays the disney dad, tells the dc im a shit mum, his financial responsibility ends with his bare legal minimum cms payment, 3.00 a day per month per kid.
He honesty believes that money should be spent on sweets and clothes for the kids, of if i spend it on food, gas electric or water or taxi to get dd to school because i have ms and limited mobility and dont work and can't walk her to school and im on long term sickness benefits, which im still jumping through hoops for, im being neglectful.
He even reported me to ss for not spending every penny of his basic payment and providing receipts for every thing to him.
He was told by ss to stfu.

Oh and he actually told my dd to her face the reason he wont contribute to her music lessons is because i didn't say please in the text i sent
I just hope one day they see past the disney dad routine without me bad mouthing him.
Providing every thing whilst on benefits is hard, very hard, but i know when they go back to school in brand new uniform, music lessons paid for etc, i did that.
Bring on the cms annual review at the end of the year, because i know he had a big payout in his job when his company was bought out, and the 18yr old has now got a job and not in education any more.
Karna.

My exH is similar. He doesn’t pay much more than your ex but it’s for three DC and he expects that covers everything so he doesn’t have to contribute a thing extra. The only other thing he pays for is three meals while they’re at his and a few birthday/Christmas presents. He’s never bought them clothes for his, never contributed extra towards uniform or school trips etc as he believes his maintenance covers it. It’s a shambles.

My ex wouldn't buy a pack of nappies to keep at his house for her when she stays. And he's not paid a single penny maintenance to date.

We have shared care, DS is with me 4/7.
Ex believes this means he doesn't have to contribute anything. So he hasn't paid for any school dinners, uniform, trips or extra curricular activities. I even pay for dinners and after school clubs on the days DS is with his dad, to make sure he doesn't miss out. In four years he's given me a total of £160. It enrages me every time I think about it!

OP - I have the same. ExH pays £100 per month per DC ( we have2) and always said to them ,' I pay your mum maintenance ' - even when boys wanted to go on a school trip which was expensive. No way covers costs, DS's eat more food even than that! (Oh but youngest DC's dad pays no maintenance at all! So I feel lucky that I even get the minimum from older2 dad)

I can beat it, my ex gave me nothing for our son, not a bean. However if i asked him to pick up a loaf of bread or pint of milk on his way to drop off/pick up he would ask for the 1.43 lol.
It used to wind me up until i realised the amount of energy i was wasting on trying to make him be a decent parent.
Then i stopped caring. My son is an adult now, we are close, he doesnt speak to his dad, he cant be bothered. We reap what we sow.

We have shared care too, I do 4/7. You would think it would therefore be reasonable to buy SOME uniform, pay SOME school meals etc. But no.
@Brandnewshit He tried asking for receipts too!
And Disney Dad... he'll buy her expensive non-school trainers - that's fine!
I don't get wound up by it anymore.
I am definitely better off without him in so many ways.
And he is and will reap what he sows.
The sad irony is he will always feel that I've done HIM wrong.