He’s addicted

[Supermum11]

My DH who I’ve been with for 10 years is addicted to his phone he is allways on it we had a baby 3 months ago but didn’t pay any Intrest to him. He is also really protective over his phone won’t let me look on it which made made me feel paranoid and insecure like he could be having an affair so I had a sneaky look when he was having a shower and noticed he’s mostly on Facebook and looking at porn on reddit is this acceptable? What should I do?

He is ignoring me and his baby all the time and the fact that he’s spending a lot of time looking at porn has made made me feel very self conscious About my body as he is lookIng at photos of younger women who probably haven’t had children with a perfect figure a lot better than mine 😞

He is also addicted to work he won’t take his holiday that he’s entitled to and even went in when he was on paternity leave 2 days after I had my baby and he is always talking about the women who he works with who are a lot younger than me I’m a stay at home Mum and I don’t see anyone apart from my 3 month old baby, family and friends and I never look at porn.

I don’t know what to do please help I feel bad saying I sneezed into his phone as he will think I don’t trust him but I can’t leave It as it might get worse he could end up having an affair or maybe he is already!!

You have every right not to trust him if he is on it 24/7 and protective. Classic signs he's doing something he shouldn't be.
I think you already know this is unacceptable behaviour. He is showing no interest in you or the baby so what exactly is he adding to your life?
Tell him to ditch the phone and be a Dad and husband or ship out.

No, it's not acceptable. I don't think that's a fair situation in a relationship at all, not to mention all the red flag warning signs that show how tenuous your relationship really is right now.

More sensible posters will probably tell you to definitely not do this, but I might be inclined to have a small baby-related accident happen to his phone... Whoops, did that fall in the bath? Stood on it whilst clearing up toys? Milk spilt all over it? At least that way when you try and broach this in conversation (which you're definitely going to have to do, I'm afraid) he won't he distracted by the thought of getting back to his precious device.

But yeah, probably don't do what I said. ...but I would.

RatRolyPoly I was actually gonna suggest something more direct such as simply throwing it down the toilet!

Ha, crappy! At least I'm not the only one considering a mild smattering of criminal damage on the OP's behalf

I would just be very direct and tell him I'm unhappy. It would be along the lines of "your obsessive relationship with your phone looks suspicious to me, it looks like your either having an affair, posting messages to random women or watching porn, which is it" I would then state "any one of those possibilities is enough for me to walk away, so put the phone down and start giving your child and I the attention we need, or else take your phone and go set up home with that"

I think you need to be unequivocal about your boundaries, state them and make certain he has no doubt about what you will and won't tolerate. If then he continues you have already started the conversation, so it will be easier to address it.

You need to talk to him. Communication is key here.
He has the desire communicate, just not with you OP. That needs to change.