Hi ladies (and possible gents too; this happens to men too).
I wanted to start a thread based on abuse. Any form of abuse. This is a thread which is a sort of secondary thread involving a lady being domestically abused (and hands up to her she got out just recently; how amazing is that!)
Anyway a lot of the advice there included women talking about their own experience with abuse. And I have to say the theme rapidly became "my god they must go to a school because all our experiences are practically identical".
I first want to give a massive hands up to all women on here who shared/share their stories in order to help other women. We all know sharing those stories, that past we try to forget, is extremely difficult and distressing. But we see another female going through it currently and we get past that pain to try to help. And I think that is commendable. Women are just amazing in their capacity for love and support.
Anyway we shared our stories and experiences and one of the common themes was the abusive men winding women up mentally with abuse, to the point the woman blows and screams or whatever. (A normal reaction) Then the men sit back calmly and watch and oftentimes (in my case certainly) record the woman. All the while calmly calling her crazy. These men sometimes even show the videos around and of course then the support network of the woman is diminished because they have 'proof' how bad and "crazy" the woman is.
Hence the title.
Also apparent was the idea of the abused women blaming themselves for not getting out after the first few warning signs. And for me I think that though I was foolish, and although I knew what was beginning to happen, think blame lies only with the abuser. However why do some women stay? What do you think? For me it was because it was modelled to me as a child, my mum was abused to the point she killed herself aged 29. Leaving behind me and my brother. And also after that as I grew up, I was abused by family, blamed for my mums suicide by 3 separate family members at three separate times (although I was a child and I know logically I couldn't have been to blame, I still do blame myself because of that family). Anyway a toxic abusive family (now no contact), lack of self esteem and confidence, and desperate need to be loved, etc. I believe these are the reasons I accepted it despite the very obvious warning signs in the beginning. Any ladies want to chip in their ideas for why we stay?
Anyway so I asked the ladies on the thread if they thought the idea of a thread for all abused people to share stories, or get help and advice, whatever they want, would be a good idea. A couple did. So here it is.
A thread for all the Not Crazy Women
I hope it is of help. I really do.
Please, if you want to, share stories, ask for help and advice, and let all of us pile in and support each other. Even if it was years ago. Because the scars; physical and emotional, stay with us. It's an 'all in' thread. Debate, share stories, ask for advice, whatever you want to get from this.
I hope it is of help. Even just for those who only read. It might help some women currently going through it.
This is a safe space.
(And as much as women are really affected by this, I think this should be a safe space for both women and men, since the shame of abuse adds an extra layer for men. So this being anonymous I want it to be a safe space for men too. For any men out there, please do chip in, seek advice and help, or simply read and gain insight and strength)
Any Not Crazy Women (And Men) out there who want to chat?
For all who went through this and survived, or are going through it and need help, I give 