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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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How to move on after my relationship

4 replies

Thumper13 · 29/08/2018 19:15

Hi, new to the site just needed somewhere to talk and interact.
So after 22 months I ended my relationship with a guy I work with, we rushed into long together, I have two kids and he has one. He was charming and loving and came at the right time in my life, however he is lazy, selfish and didn't want to do family days out, we stopped going places as he has a massive gambling habit, and that would come before me but not before his friends or daughter, basically i wasn't a priority even though be moved in to my house and drove my car etc. So after many months of my anxiety being out of control due to feeling unworthy u asked him to leave, he did and went home to his mum's who lives 2 hours away, having to leave his daughter and job, he managed to work from home for.the month and is now back in the office and staying with a friend, sofa surfing aetc so although it was m6 decision i miss him, and seeing him at work everyday is a struggle, I'm.findkng it hard to move past it and even considered making things work however he has turned around and said I betrayed him, im not worthy of him anymore etc, I've cried myself to sleep ever night since I made him leave. I dunno how to get past it

OP posts:
LilyMumsnet · 29/08/2018 19:17

Hi there OP,

We're just moving your thread to the relationships topic.

Thumper13 · 29/08/2018 19:24

Sorry! And thank you x

OP posts:
Zofloramummy · 29/08/2018 19:33

I kindly suggest that you are mourning the end of what you hoped he would be. You chucked the real him out as you quite rightly realised he wasn’t the one for you.

It’s ok to be sad but he won’t change and there is no point in looking backwards. Be polite and basically interact as little as possible at work.

You will look back and think WTAF was I thinking?? But that won’t be for a good few months yet. In the meantime, self care, barriers up, smile on, say yes to all social events and believe you will get through this.

Oh and eat!!

noego · 29/08/2018 22:30

He's lazy, selfish, a gambler and put everyone and everything before you and then puts the blame onto you by saying you betrayed him.

WTAF. Lovely lady you have just dodged a narcissistic bullet.

Please count your blessings rather than mourn the loss.

Can you get therapy? perhaps through work? Just to help you see the reality of this

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