How do I tell him

[Cath2907]

I don't want o be married to my husband anymore. He hasn't done anything awful but our relationship hasn't been working for years. Our sex life is pretty much non-existent and to be honest neither of us have made moves to change that. He doesn't work (hasn't since before DD was born). We used to call it him being a SAHD but she is now nearly 8 and in full time school so no daytime dadding needed. He sadly doesn't use the time to do housework or walk the dog or cook or shop or do the long list of things that would be useful. He is so miserable all the time and so frustrated, unhappy and down about everything that he has now got me feeling the same way. I've tried talking to him about it and he acknowledges all these issues and promises to change things but nothing changes. I nearly ended it in January but he promised again that he'd change ... no sign of it happening. I just can't live with his misery any more.

So on a practical note what do I do? I am the only wage earner and he's been out of work for about 9 years so unlikely to find a job in the short term. His parents live 180 miles away and we have a DD who loves him and who he loves. Do I ask him to move into the spare room to start with? I can't just chuck him out into the street with a suitcase full of clothes can I? We own a caravan - should I pay for it to be sited over the winter and ask him to move there whilst he looks for a job?

I would sit down and talk to him. See what his views are. If you're 100% sure this is what you want then you should seek legal advice. Did your husband give up work or was he made redundant? My dad was made redundant which I think was the start of his depression. Your husband doesn't sound like he's in a good place?

He isn't in a good place and hasn't been for a very long time, I know that. I've supported him through some major anxiety issues 2 years ago. The low level depression is an ongoing thing. I took him and I to the GP nearly 6 years ago and said "he is depressed, I told him I wanted a divorce and his only reply was "ok then"" he must be depressed. They weren't massively helpful and he doesn't want medication. He had some counselling but didn't feel it was getting anywhere so stopped. I realise his issue is fundamentally a mental health one but I can't keep living with someone who is always always miserable and unhappy with everything.