Is this a fair settlement?

[leana33]

My Husband and I separated last year as his drinking gambling and generally abusive behaviour got too much so he is now living with his parents as he doesn’t work! Has been in and mainly out of work for last 9 years
We have been married 19 years have 3 children 18 (lives away partly) 17 (A level student) and 9 year old
A 3 bed house worth £270000

he wants £50000 lump sum part now part when little one 18
And I take on mortgage and his debts of 30000 to do this I need to remortgage putting it back to 29 years and then get a loan to pay for it
I have a 17 hour contract and earn about £20000 with lots of overtime

he has paid nothing at all for the children since moving out
He looks after the little one one evening and Sunday day in our house while I’m at work

Is £50000 reasonable and should I try and get maintenance for the youngest

Please get some legal advice. It doesn't sound very fair to me.

How old are you? Do you see yourself going back to work full time at some point?

Hell no! For you to take on his debts I would tell him that's his problem. You don't say what the equity is in the property, as that's more pertinent than the overall value.

Given he's not worked for as long as you say he's hardly contributed equally!

Yes you should be getting maintenance. Unless he starts doing this I would tell him to get back in his box!

Have you had legal advice? No, it doesn't sound fair to me.

You need to see a lawyer. Presumably you are housing the DC so why would you be paying him that sum? I think it will greatly depend on how much equity is in the house and the size of your pensions.

The property has 220000 equity 52000 remains on mortgage
With regards to the Debt he took it as a reserve overdraft on mortgage without my knowledge so appears as both our debt 😢
I did get legal advice and was told it would be costly to argue it due to the way he did it , I have already paid off all the credit cards he ran up before he moved out the final straw was
Him quitting another job getting another one and running that up

I currently work about 45 hours a week with my overtime so I can’t really do loads more hours. And I am 40

Yes I house the children

He has 4 pensions worth nothing really from different jobs he doesn’t stay long in a job

Mine is still small have worked for same company for 12 years

I currently work about 45 hours a week with my overtime so I can’t really do loads more hours. And I am 40

The property has 220000 equity 52000 remains on mortgage
With regards to the Debt he took it as a reserve overdraft on mortgage without my knowledge so appears as both our debt 😢
I did get legal advice and was told it would be costly to argue it due to the way he did it

Hell no!! You need to speak to another solicitor OP.

I would say either all the equity and the debt or half the equity and half the debt

For him to have all the equity and none of the debt is unfair

Sorry I misread still I would say it’s too much

It should be 50/50 as a starting point. So half the debt and half the equity. He can’t force you to sell whilst you have your youngest dc living there.

Does he contribute towards the mortgage and bills? If not, the sooner you sort it the better. Once you’ve agreed a settlement your solicitor should sort a ‘deed of trust’ so he has no further claim to any equity if he’s not paying towards the house.

I agreed with my ex that he’d stay on the mortgage (as i couldn’t get one at the time), and I’d pay him X amount at certain times and he’d no longer pay the mortgage, but would have no claim on any increase in equity further down the road.

No he has contributed absolutely nothing towards house or children

he seems to think he has contributed enough over the years he did work

Yes you should try to get maintenance, which could be a decade for the youngest.

50k seems to be less than 25% of the equity, and you have more in pensions, and it would seem to rid you of someone liable to run up more debts (unless they've changed!), so in many ways the deal looks to be OK. Some legal advice may be worth it, but this looks like a reasonably favourable deal for you, if you are able to manage the household bills and mortgage with him gone.

He originally wanted £80000
As he said that was fair! As was 50%

He has agreed to 50000 so far but I think I will struggle with that

I have a mortgage agreement for For mortgage and debt combined

Sorry also miss-read some figures. Your assets are basically £170k and he wants £50k, and is prepared to wait for some of it. Still a 70/30 split in your favour.

So seems reasonable then
apart from trying to get maintenance from someone who rarely works . This could be tricky as I know he will not agree to any

Any yes it will be such a relief to be rid of him he is an expensive person to keep

£220000 equity, so 50:50 would be £110000 each, he pays his debt so would walk away with £80 k less whatever he owes you for maintenance since he left- so £50k seems like a reasonable deal for you tbh. He should pay maintenance for the youngest from now on.

Thankyou all for the advice, it seems reasonable

I have too many friends saying he should have nothing and I was being too generous

He may have been difficult but is still entitled to something
hopefully he will get a job and sort himself out now

The other factor to always remember is that disagreeing and going to court with an unsettled dispute is also expensive and benefits none of you. Running up debts, by him, could in principle be taken into account, but that would need strong evidence and also likely some legal costs.

The days when people left with zero, always rare, are generally over particularly if kids are adequately housed with another settlement.