How best to end it.

[inmyshoos]

I've been seeing someone for 8 months. He has always pushed for more. More time, More involvement with dc, holidays etc whereas I'd said from the start slowly slowly. I've constantly had to put the brakes on and recently I've realised again that it's all too much too soon. I had concerns in the beginning that he was quite intense and controlling. He is actually quite grumpy and angry and pissed off and I just don't need that in my life. It's run it's course.

He has sent a huge message asking if we are ok etc that he wants it to work but difficult because my dc are always around so can't talk. Some points he has made are really boiling my piss tbh.

Should I reply to his novel length text and be completely honest or just keep it short and say it's not working and it's over.

Keep it short. 'This relationship no longer works for me. It's time for us both to move on. I appreciate you're leaving me in peace to do that. Best of luck to you.' And then block him. Don't engage with people like this. I'd actually be tempted to just ghost this man.

You poor thing! If you send a long text he'll send one back, telling you where you went wrong in your message, so I'd keep it fairly short and say you're at different points in your life and that you need to focus on the children. So difficult! He sounds like someone to be rid of anyway, kids or no kids.

I’d dump him, sounds like you don’t like him very much!
Does he have belongings round yours? If so, pack his stuff, msg him saying you’re done and where to collect his things then block/ignore!

He sounds like the kind of person who will probably plead for another chance and will promise to change , so make your text very firm.

Yeah I have some bits belonging to him at mine and vice versa. Tbh I'd be willing to write the stuff off to avoid the confrontation. Having a left a horrible marriage behind 2 years ago im loathed to have anymore emotional stress.

I'm sticking to dogs from now on.

I'd post his stuff back to him. Don't meet him or let him come round.

Thing is in the beginning I said I was just looking for someone to go out with every other weekend or similar when my dc were at the dad's. He pushed and pushed for more now he is acting like he is part of my family and complaining that my dc are always around and we have no time together. He has become so sulky and angry. Not to mention condescending.

Just get rid of him. You don't own him anything. Next time when someone does this just dump asap.

Op you don’t need anyone’s permission to dump someone. You don’t even need a good reason to dump someone. If it’s not working for you then just end it.

It sounds like he’s making you really unhappy so just tell him you’re ending it.

Keep it short and sweet and don’t get drawn into long conversations where you have to defend your decision. A firm ‘this is no longer working for me, I wish you well’ type message should suffice. You don’t owe him anything.