Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

boyfriend doesnt understand how i feel about abortion

13 replies

sabrina1234 · 28/08/2018 14:19

So recently I found out I was pregnant and me and my boyfriend agreed that considering our situation that going ahead with the termination would be the best option right now. However I feel like I'm starting to despise him because it's as though he keeps trying to play it down, he says that it's not that big of a deal and that all I'll have to do is take a pill and when he found an abortion clinic for me and told me to ring the number after I wasn't having much luck , he messaged me saying where's my thank you and I replied saying thank you to which he said I can't believe I had to ask you to say it and that's really upset me because it's made me feel like a burden when we both should have been searching for clinics anyway and it shouldn't have just been me , even though he is there and is going to come to the clinic with me I feel really disconnected from him. The day I found out I was pregnant I was crying and I told him I don't feel like he's taking it seriously and he said he wants to move forward and that crying about it won't help anything but I just wanted him to understand that it meant alot to me as it was not how I imagined the first time getting pregnant to be like. I also feel extremely guilty and have so many other emotions and am just feeling really sensitive and vulnerable right now and I just feel like I can't get it across to him because it's not that big of a deal for him.

OP posts:
LeftRightCentre · 28/08/2018 14:28

He's a complete and utter cunt. Please get rid of him. Your response to 'Where's my thank you' should have been fuck you, it's your responsibility too. Of course he thinks it's no big deal, he's a thoughtless, selfish tosser. Of course he wants to move forward, he doesn't give a shit about your feelings.

LeftRightCentre · 28/08/2018 14:28

I'd rather go with a friend to the clinic than with a twat like him.

Seniorschoolmum · 28/08/2018 18:49

Op, you need to stop, have a day or two away from your git of a boyfriend.

Can you spend a day with a friend or older sister? Your mum? Talk it through with someone who isn’t only thinking about his future financial liability and pushing you to do it before you have time to think calmly.

It is your decision whether you abort or not. Being a single parent wouldn’t be easy but it’s not impossible. You need to be happy with YOUR decision because you are the one who has to live with it long-term. Cake

ScattyCharly · 28/08/2018 18:54

I think you should split up with him and then make your own decision as to whether to have the abortion or not. He doesn’t sound very caring.

dirtybadger · 28/08/2018 19:00

Does he understand it isnt just like the morning after pill? It sounds like he thinks you literally just take a tablet and that's that.

The description you've given makes it sound a bit like he is making it all about him. Why should you be thanking him? I mean a text "cheers" or whatever I guess is polite after exchanging the number. But if you're a couple then presumably you both do one another small favours all the time without any expectations. He googled a few things ffs. He isnt doing you a massive solid, its a situation that he had part of making, not "your thing" he's helping with

I have sympathy for men who can frequently be excluded from these types of things (it's just unavoidable) but it doesn't sound like the issue is that's he's feeling pushed out. If he is coping well, great, he should be supporting you, who are having a harder time!

dirtybadger · 28/08/2018 19:01

I didn't get the vibe that you would consider continuing the pregnancy, but if that is crossing your mind OP then most charities who are commissioned to provide terminations offer counselling before treatment if that would help.

Racecardriver · 28/08/2018 19:01

Either he is a dick or he is also finding it really difficult to accept what has happened and this is how he deals with it. Men have emotions too.

HollowTalk · 28/08/2018 19:03

Go with a friend, OP, and dump this man. He's not good for you.

Loopytiles · 28/08/2018 19:03

It’s your body, so solely your choice what to do.

His behaviour has shown that he’s not a good boyfriend.

LeftRightCentre · 28/08/2018 19:24

Either he is a dick or he is also finding it really difficult to accept what has happened and this is how he deals with it. Men have emotions too.

And anyone who is mature and purports to love someone would express themselves in a situation like this rather than behaving the way he is.

Please get some space from this man, OP.

Gemini69 · 28/08/2018 20:11

I agree with everyone OP.. you need a few days on your own to think clearly Flowers

Creeper8 · 28/08/2018 21:57

men dont get it. to them it IS just a pill. my ex was the same.

CaMePlaitPas · 28/08/2018 22:03

Your boyfriend is a creep. He doesn't deserve you. Good luck with what YOU decide to do with YOUR body and here, have my first ever LTB. Flowers

New posts on this thread. Refresh page