Excuses excuses

[Rubyritz]

Guys... need your opinions.

I’m with someone who always make an excuse as to why he’s never excited about anything. I’ve booked us another family holiday. I will be paying for it all... he didn’t even look remotely excited.

If someone booked me a holiday I think I would jump from the roof. The fact I know
I woulsnt have to pay for it and someone putting thought into giving us memories and experiences.

He never seems excited about anything and then gives me an excuse as to why he isn’t for example

pregnancy- he would be excited when the baby arrives... never was really happy.

• house hunting he will be excited when we find a house we like

• bought said house- will be happy when he gets the keys and gets in the house. Once in the house picks faults at the things he missed when viewing

• holiday last year- he will be excited when it’s closer

And now this year he said he is happy but it’s so far away so he’s not that fussed yet.

It pisses me off. He said that I get annoyed because He doesn’t respond how I would. But I’m sorry his lack of enthusiasm just makes him seem pissing Ungrateful

Opinions?

Stop paying for his holiday and go without him.

Why are you with him at all?. All he seems to be doing here is dragging you down and putting a downer on your life. Is this what you want from life with him going forward because he won't change. This is really who he is.

He's using you and you're just not compatible
Why continue with this
Go on holiday alone
You deserve someone who's excited just to spend time with you

I'd really struggle with someone like this, I'm quite a positive person but get quite easily brought down when people around me are quite "down".

Have you told him that its a real drag that he never gets excited? Could he have depression?

Does he get excited by anything at all? A hobby or anything?

I binned someone off for a lack of enthusiasm, my friend described him as 'having no life in him' but then I didn't have kids with him so that was easy to do.

My ex was like that, very pessimistic attitude and negative for you, I understokn about some things but it’s nice to get excited together and chat about holidays, to look forward to time spent together and if one of you doesn’t seem that interested I’d be wondering if it was me he wasn’t interested in spending time with.

I wouldn't be excited about a holiday. Don't like them. I wouldn't pay for his holiday again if he doesn't appreciate it!

As someone said above, does he get excited about other things? Anything? If he just not excited....or Is he negative?

OP please take me on holiday instead. I’m currently sitting on my sofa excited for a new pair of £15 boots to arrive which I bought for myself! So a paid for holiday I would be jumping for joy! (Though probably nervous a couple days before Cos I’ve never flown)

He sounds very hard to please though and I don’t think I could be with someone like that. My OH is happy when I buy him a aftershave or random present.

He doesn’t seem to get excited about anything. Very...meh.
He used to love the gym but he stopped that years ago and never got back into it. Says he’s going to but never does.

If I get him little gifts like I got him so trainers for holiday he was happy with them smiled said thanks but he feels guilty because he cannot do the same for me. Never has been able to... but then when has been able to... never did anyways if that makes sense.

And I make a very clear point that a thought goes a long way more than money. But the thoughts aren’t there either. But apparently
I’m hard to please. No. Just a card would be suffice if it was bought with thought and meaning not the back end of the occasion

I said to him yesterday I must have mug on my forehead because I just feel mugged off constantly.

Sorry op but your the one who's treating yourself like a mug,

The definition of madness being doing the same shit over and over and over again
Expecting a different outcome 💐

I was married to someone like this. He was aware - said it was a result of taking anti depressants when younger - he said he no longer felt either big highs nor lows. V sad.

Is he depressed?

What's the reason behind you supporting him financially?

So you keep buying him things and he cannot reciprocate.

How do you think that makes him feel?

If I was him I'd be getting out of this relationship.

Could it be to do with his childhood? I would always get told we would do something/go somewhere and it rarely happened so i find it hard to get excited about things, then I'm not disappointed when it doesn't. I'm not a negative person though and enjoy things when it happens.

He doesn’t really show a lot of emotion in terms of sadness I think I’ve seen him cry twice in 10 years, he’s very closed off in terms of his emotions and has a lot of changes the past 6 years which have contributed to closing him down.

I support the finances because he re trained and was offered a position but it was a graduate entry level so a lot less money. It won’t be this way forever. He’s just not very thoughtful when he had the spare money himself before this.

I’ve always been fortunate to have savings from a young age so always able to have left over money So that’s why I support financially and I don’t mind doing so we’re a family all I ask is for some look on his face of excitement!

Noego- I don’t buy him items continually each month just now and again. I don’t say I’ve bought you this look at me ect i do it because I feel bad because he has very little spare cash.

My ex was like this. It made me feel very lonely not to share the excitement of a future plan. We’re no longer together and I can enjoy looking forward to things with others. It’s a shame for him he’s missing out.