Maybe I AM bipolar...??

[user1019]

I am in my second marriage and it's failed, miserably like the last one. Both husbands have told me I have mental problems and that I'm bipolar. I feel like I'm not the one making the mistakes in the relationship though. Deep down I am a very positive person and I love to be happy and make others happy. But I have an evil side too. When someone does something against me, I shut them out of my life, and sometimes get revenge (depending on the situation). When I get pushed to my breaking point I snap. I yell and cuss and have even thrown things. I almost immediately regret my actions and try to make up for it, even though I know I was the one who got crapped on first. My conscience doesn't let me get away with anything. I just googled the symptoms of bipolar disorder and it seems like it could be me. I'm so sad about that. I just kicked my husband out of the house a few hours ago. I told him I hate him, never want to see his face again, and hope he dies :( I didn't mean it, but I couldn't control my emotions. He's been very distant, hiding his phone and put a lock on it, lies about work hours, keeps money from me, is mean to me and the kids, etc. I concluded that he must be cheating. So I snapped. Now idk how the bills will get paid and I feel stupid for putting my 5 kids through this. I'm so depressed about everything and I've had a very hard life and no one to talk to. I've thought about how pointless my life is and how I'm a waste of air. My children rely on me and that's the only thing keeping me going. Advice is appreciated

I'm sorry about all this

Best advice is talk to your GP

My mum had a break down recently I have always suspected she had something as her behaviour was very hard when we were children very moody shouty swore a lot etc she did have lots of health issues as well
Since the breakdown then said she might have bjpoloar and it's taken about a year but we now have a new mum her and Dad are very happy she doesn't get moody Dad is no longer on edge
You owe it to your children to get help

I was fiery with my exh because he was a cheating abusive dick however I am now remarried and don't feel anger like I used too

How is your marriage? Does your husband get angry? My ex too also accused me of having mental health issues & being like my mother something I was always anxious not to be

This is a question that is better to ask your GP.

We can't diagnose you on the internet OP. Go and see a doctor.

I have a mood disorder that's considered to be on the spectrum of BPD, what you have written doesn't resonate but go and see a GP to discuss. It took many years of misdiagnosis and incorrect meds before I was finally referred to a psychiatrist, then it has taken 18 months of changing meds and levels to finally get to the point where things have stabilised for me.

You can't be diagnosed on here, nor can you diagnose yourself by googling the symptoms. Most GPs are ineffective with BPD, if you think you have a mood disorder I'd be asking for a referral to a psychiatrist.

I agree with PP. I have bipolar and for me it isn't about anger in the moment but sustained periods of manic or depressed moods.

Obviously we cannot diagnose on the internet but how is your mood/behaviour when you are single?

Doesn't sound at all like bipolar.

Bi polar isn't temporary bursts of emotions. Borderline personality maybe, but not bi polar at all. Go to your GP, don't google diagnose because you'll just fit the symptoms to suit your own diagnosis. People throw the 'you're bipolar' argument at anyone hysterical or having mental issues.

I agree with PP...more likely Borderline Personality Disorder. Bipolar is quite different to what you have described.

Could be a number of things.

Could be that you're in a cycle of being with manipulative, abusive men who don't support you so you're an emotional wreck.

Could be that the 'hard life' you mention has left you an emotional wreck.

Could be something like thyroid problems that cause anxiety/depression.

Could be mental health.

Could be that you allow yourself to be emotionally unstable and actually you're the manipulative one.

But the GP is the first place to ask.

Another vote for borderline personality disorder. But yes, just go to your GP. Good luck!

Nope, doesn't sound like bipolar disorder. With bipolar disorder you lose the concept of reality, and this leads you to make really poor choices, like overspend, commit to crazy projects,or undertake crazy projects of your own, such as knocking walls through without proper planning.

Whereas borderline personality disorder, which might fit your description as lothers have said, is now being seen in many circles as a response to abuse. Which may be much more relevant to you.

Thank you all very much.

Ive got bipolar but dont seek revenge. That is more borderline personality disorder.

I'm Bipolar and it sounds to me that you have anger issues rather than mental health issues, I mean this kindly.
Has your marriage been difficult?Any unresolved situations which are coming to the surface?
Think about this and open up to your GP.. He may recommend a " talking therapy" or refer on to a psychiatrist for assessment Step away from google, so easy to fit symptoms to yourself

My sister had type 2 bipolar and has never ever said anything like that. In fact she's the total opposite. She's submissive and doesn't like to offend people at all. If you are worried about your mental health then go to your docs. Ask them for a referral to a mental health professional to talk it out and be assessed. But I would really refrain from self diagnosis from the internet. It won't help you as you are most likely wrong.

I have borderline and I thought it before I read any of the other comments but yes, we can’t diagnose you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this

And to be fair though, it does sound like your husband is hiding something but maybe the reaction could have been different. It must not be great for you if you can't help it. Do you always feel such extremes when you react to something? I believe your doctor will be able to help you. Good luck.

You could be suffering from PTSD. This can mean that your adrenalin is kicking in too much as a result of past and present abuse. Which makes you unable to control yourself.
Go and see your GP who might suggest meds.

Sounds a bit like me. Also sounds like he pisses you off so understandable. I'm a red head so i always get people saying 'ooohhh temper to match' - amazing how people refer to that first lol.