I am so sad within my marriage. I am far from perfect myself, and I know difficulties in a relationship are never all one persons fault, but I am at a loss as to how to move forward and hope that I may get some useful advice and maybe a bit of sympathy
My DH is getting so hard to live with. These are some of the problems:-
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He doesn't listen. At least, he listens to the first few words of what I say, then switches off and assumes he knows what I'm going to say. He often doesn't have a clue though.
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He doesn't communicate or seem to want to talk to me unless he is ranting about things that get on his nerves.
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If I try to talk to him about anything that is worrying me, he appears to listen at first, but then zones out and leaves me feeling as though I am on the other side of an impenetrable glass wall.
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If we end up rowing, it always looks like it is me that started it, he doesn't accept that his refusal to listen or irritation at being expected to communicate, is what sends me off the edge and means I start shouting at him out of frustration or hurt. He then goes out and when we are next in the same room he will just carry on as though nothing has happened. If I say that we need to sort things out, he just says there is no point in dragging things out and it is better to just put it behind us. Whereas I feel if you keep doing what you are doing, you keep getting what you have got - and for me what I've got is anger and hurt. I also feel it means he can behave how he likes and expect no consequences. Ever.
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Our sex life is becoming almost none existant. I don't feel like making love with him as an expression of closeness, if there is no closeness outside the bedroom.
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I have told him more than once recently that I am starting to question whether I actually love him any more, (I mean exactly that, and it frightens and worries me). If he said this to me, I would be devastated and want to work out what to do to make things better. He just says that by even saying that I don't love him, I am emotionally blackmailing him, which makes him angry, so he isn't going to talk about it as "there's nothing wrong that he can see, so there is nothing to put right".
We have been married for 28 years, DC all adults now (one still living at home). He has always been a bit complacent and also very self contained, but nothing like he is now. He also keeps ranting on and on about anything and everything outside the home that annoys him, such as new house building nearby, road speed restriction changes that he feels unnecessary. In fact rules and regulations of any kind really give him the rage so badly you would think there is some government office somewhere that is dedicated to annoying Mr SoSadEveryday - almost as though he thinks he should be above having to have his life impinged on like everyone elses.
I can't live like this much longer, but I have no job (early retirement due to cancer) so no income or pension of my own to rely on, and ill health to cope with. DH is generous, and doesn't care what I spend, or what I do with my time (EG he wouldn't care if I watched TV all day - I don't by the way), but I face penury if I leave. We own our home, but selling it wouldn't raise enough to buy two properties. I feel so stuck and so sad.