Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sildenafil advise

3 replies

P300 · 27/08/2018 15:03

My question is especially for any guys out there but if anyone else has experience of my situation is welcome it. Been with my man for 21 months and getting married next year. Very happy and enjoyable sex life up to now and solid trusting relationship. We've both been through different things in relationships, me married for 22 years and him never married but taken advantage of by many previous girlfriends emotionally and financially.
I was shocked to discover some pills a few weeks ago, kamagra, which are basically sildenafil but not licenced in this country. I'm not shocked that he has them as being in his 50's I'm well aware of what can happen to some guys, but I'm hurt that it's something he hasn't told me. I didn't think we had secrets and I truly don't know what to do. He's just recently moved in with me and obviously bought a big stash before so. I'm happy to admit that I often check to see if he's had one before we have sex and if he hasn't there's never a problem with his performance. I am finding that if he has had one I don't want to have sex because I'm so confused about why he needs them. I don't know if talking to him about it is the right thing to do. I've read a few things on here about how men feel about it and I do get it. With the menopause approaching for me in the next few years being "dry" is already worrying me but I don't feel ashamed to talk to him about it because I believe in being open about problems or they just become too big. I'm worried that I'll put a strain on our relationship because I'm so confused as to why he needs them and why its not something from his Dr but a foreign company selling unlicensed drugs, so advice please on what I should/shouldn't do.

OP posts:
Josuk · 27/08/2018 16:22

OP - why does it bother you so much?
VIagra doesn’t make men want sex - it only helps the physical part of things if there is a mental attraction.

For whatever reason he feels he needs the reassurance of this pill every now and then. And it’s not the same as women having dryness during menopause. Women aren’t judged on our level of wetness to the same extent as men’s core manliness is judged on their election.

I really think you need to lay off and question why you are taking it all this way. And really - stop counting his pills. Poor man deserves a bit of privacy.
Trusting relationship means he needs to be able to trust you too.

Kinunir · 27/08/2018 16:27

men’s core manliness is judged on their election

Vote for me!!! Grin Grin

category12 · 27/08/2018 16:43

I'm not sure why you're checking whether he's had a pill or not. As pp, it's to help with the physical side of things, not the mental - he's a man of a certain age - it's not about you. Either you need to ask him about it, or you need to forget you know and stop checking his stash.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page