I need a good talking to!!

[Polly46219]

Sorry, ‘me’ post coming up but I need some words of reassurance! I’m a 47 year old divorced mum to a gorgeous 3 year old. Last October I met a guy (29) on a night out. We clicked, he came back and we ended up having a 7 month relationship. It was very intense at first but as I was going through a divorce and about to lose my family home. I was a bit stressed out for most of this relationship and it definitely had an impact. I don’t think this guy really understood what I was going through and it led to arguments and we were always making up and breaking up. In June this year, I’d finally had enough and called time on it. I then regretted it and tried to contact him but he’s ignored me, blocked me on WhatsApp and messenger and on Saturday I found out he’s seeing someone else - she’s 22. I am devastated and can’t stop crying! He was so in to me and I constantly pushed him away. What the bloody hell is wrong with me? Please someone give me a kick up the arse!

You had an extended one night stand while going through an incredibly traumatic time.

You added to that by expecting someone youd just met to carry you through it realised it wasnt going to work and ended it expecting him to pop back up at your convinience. Instead hes moved on with his life and you are deveatated that he isnt now comming running on demand.

Sounds like rather than dealing with the emotional fall out of your divorce you delayed it by transfering your emotions into this situation.

Accept that its over. Deal with the fact that you are no longer married. Focus on being their for your daughter during what must have been a confusing rime for hwr with two diff men popping in and out of her life.

Look the reality is that it was never going to be a lasting relationship . Is that a good enough kick up the arse ? He's so much younger and probably wanted to have kids of his own at some point . It really wasn't YOU . You were just experiencing life at the time and if he couldn't handle that then that says something . He's young - far too young ! Yeah the sex was amazing but ..... Move on . It was fine while it lasted . Either spend sometime on your own now and with your daughter or think about some OLD but just as a fun diversion . Really you will be fine. Stop looking at his social media and WhatsApp . Join the No Contact thread on here !

Ok I hear you! Thanks for your replies. He so wanted us to be a couple and said he was willing to forgo having his own children to be with me and my son. He said the 18 year gap didn’t bother him as I was exactly what he was looking for. I suppose subconsciously I knew one day he would change his mind. Just because I’m older it still hurts. I think it’s a bit harsh to say I expected him to come running; I think because he said he loved me so deeply (his words) I finally believed it all too late. Thanks ladies xx

Op sorry if that sounded harsh but from what you said you ended the relationship and he moved on. That doesnt sound like its about age but you wanting to reignite something that ended. For all you know the 22 year old doesnt want kids either.

Ultimately it was a 7 month relationship you were still in the infatuation stage.

It’s ok rosetinted - I did ask for people to tell me straight! Suppose I’m just being over-sensitive. I blame myself for jeopardising it by my behaviour but I really couldn’t help it at the time. But now things are so different: divorced, consent order signed, family home is now sold. I’m in a nice flat, money worries gone, bit of cash in the bank and I’m feeling like now I’m the person I would have wanted him to stick around and see/be with. But the damage has been done and he’ll never know. I appreciate your comments though - I need to accept it’s over.

I'd see it that you're now free to meet someone new. It would never have been easy with someone who had so much less experience of life than you have.

Enjoy your new settled time. He is NOT the last man who'll ever love you.

You need to think of it as an adventure. He isn't the one that got away, he was just part of your journey.

All relationships end one way or another.

He probably blocked you because he was hurt from the breakup and wanted to protect himself.

Sounds a bit like my story in reverse: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3260864-Ex-wants-to-be-friends-but-Im-heartbroken

I have also done the blocking and unfriending thing now. I felt I had to as I will never get over her otherwise.