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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH weekday life

1 reply

Supercalifragilisticexpi · 27/08/2018 08:14

NC for this as it feels a bit exposing...
DH is military and lives away from home during the week. From everything I gather he is a lovely man at work, has endless time for people, goes out of his way to help, takes in extra duties and so on. He also does quite a bit of socialising during the week, both formal functions and informal meals/get together with fellow inliers.
When he comes home at the weekend he is constantly tired, has little energy or interest in doing anything to do with family life. All he seems to want to do is nap, watch sport on tv or work on his side project (an MLM type scheme he hopes will make him money when he leaves military in a few years).
To be fair to him he does give me one lie in at the weekend and gets up with the DC.
I do everything to do with the house, manage all our money, shopping, meal planning, cooking, plan holidays/socialising, organise all DC stuff and so on.
I try hard not to be a martyr about it but sometimes get bloody fed up with feeling like I carry our home life solo while all his energy goes into his work life. I'm on mat leave at the moment but the arrangement has been the same when I've worked, both ft or pt. sometimes I'll say something and it will change for a while but then slowly slips back to how it is.
What do others do when they have a DH/DP who works away? Do they do more/less? I get it's hard for him juggling two lives but would love him to have more energy and enthusiasm at home and to do more to contribute to our shared family life.

OP posts:
JennyHolzersGhost · 27/08/2018 16:47

Hi OP, I don’t know what to advise but am bumping in case others have a similar situation. I personally reckon your DH should be putting more effort in. It sounds as though he is taking you for granted and you’ve lost your connection to each other Flowers

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