Can you get married but not live together?!

[potatoes13]

I've met a really fabulous man but he lives 30 miles away. We both have children at school in respective areas and can't move due to them being settled and would not want to disrupt this. Ex partners share the care on both sides and this obvious can't be altered!!! The relationship is serious with the possibility of commitment further down the line. Can we make this work? I'd love to marry this gorgeous man. Xxx

I think if you are planing on that being your lifestyle potentially forever, both parties happy, yes.

If you are planning to live together at some point then now. I wouldn’t marry someone I was intending to live with without living with them first no matter how long we’d been together. I lived with DH for 5 years before we got married and he still annoys the shit out of me. If I were to ever have another relationship I would totally live separately, forever lol.

Don't see why not - I'm marrying my partner next year and he lives 2000 miles across Europe. Neither of us intend to relocate - I have a 6 year old daughter here and he has a job and all his family there, so we'll just carry on with the 5 visits a year we currently have

My partner and I live 30 miles apart and spend 5-6 nights together a week. I have my kids for a few of those nights, and on the nights I don’t I go down to his - or sometimes my kids come with me. It’s completely flexible. To be honest, living this way after a traditional set up is bliss. I love the independence, and love spending time with him. It helps that he lives at the beach, so it’s like going on holiday every week! Relax a bit. Your kids will grow up quickly. Enjoy this as it comes. It really is a treat.

What hollowtalk said. Marriage is a legal contract.
Why get married why not just continue as partners?

Clicking with someone youve known for a few months and never lived with is bloody easy. You dont know him under stress. Sounds like a romantic fantasy

Romance is well and truly dead for a few of you miserable lot!!!!😉 I was just wondering if it's possible to have a serous long term relationship and possibly eventually get married but not live together for a period of time!!!! Xx

Romance isnt dead just dont get why you want to be married to someone you dont live with making them legally entitled to half of everything you have.
.#Marry in haste repent at leisure

Romance is well and truly dead for a few of you miserable lot!!!

Oh you're one of those

Sorry, we should have said yes, you can have the fairytale romance and get married and live happily ever after living in different houses 30 miles apart and not sharing your lives, you're so special!

I know a couple who married late in life, then spent half the week together and half the week apart in their own homes. No kids 8nvolved but it worked for them.

30 miles isn’t that far either, so shouldn’t present a huge problem.

We got married in June 2000 and spent most of the time in different continents until April 2002, by which time I was 7 months pregnant! This was all planned, not due to unexpected circumstances.

To be honest I can't really remember why we didn't wait to get married. I guess having got engaged we didn't want to wait too long. But I still had a PhD to finish.

But to be sensible, the important thing is how you run your lives and whether you are committed to the relationship, Not whether you are actually married or not.

How long have you known each other?

We had been together 6 years by the time we got married.

You could but I'm not sure why you would. If you never want to live together then it makes sense I guess if you're super keen on marriage. If you do want to live together then definitely don't get married until you've lived together for a while

I've been with DP for 4 years (been friends since school). 3 years about 70 miles apart and 1 at about 30 miles. We will be getting somewhere together in the next couple of years. I wouldn't dream of getting engaged before I knew we had been solid living together for a year or so. X 100 if you have kids. Marriage and divorce will effect their futures financially. Recipe for disaster.

I would say don't consider getting married without good reason. Currently there isn't one.

We lived apart for the first two years after we got married. Easiest two years of our marriage so far.

irregularegular they’ve been together 8 months but I hope OP is just contemplating the future possibilities rather han getting carried away expecting it now.

I know a married couple who have lived on different continents for decades whatever works for you OP!