Talking about sex to other people

[OnePotPlant]

I have a question about this as inspired by another thread (but not a TAAT)

I'm wondering who other people talk to about sex other than the people that they are doing it with?

I have about three old female friends I talk to fairly openly, although sometimes find the conversations a little open for my comfort. We've always talked about it and have known each other since we were young. I don't talk to anyone about it that I've met more recently.

Apart from them it's come up in conversation a lot recently with a man I'm friends with, and I find this a little odd. It's not rude or flirty - often just jokey and talking in general terms - but I'm not sure I like it as I'm not used to talking about it with men at all that I'm not seeing.

Who do you talk to about it?

I used to talk about it with close female friends in the past when I was dating or my relationship was not serious, but now I'm married, I don't talk about it.
It's just out of respect for each other, I wouldn't like him talking about me in that way to his friends, so I don't either.
I wouldn't find it appropriate to talk about it with a male friend. If you're in a relationship it's disrespectful to your partner as it can be interpreted as a sexual come on. It's unnecessary.

Other than my husband, no one, apart from a very old and close friend who has confided once or twice about problems, and is OK with me not confiding reciprocally. I would find it weird and sleazy if a male friend kept initiating 'joky' sex conversations, especially if I were in a relationship.

I’ve always talked about it with all my friends, male and female, if the topic arises. I’ve even talked about it with my mum although I spare her the gory details obviously. I’m very open and don’t have an issue discussing sex in detail or hearing about it. I don’t think it’s disrespectful to a partner to talk about it, neither would I mind if they talked to their friends about their sex life with me. Everyone’s entitled to private conversations with their friends. I view my male friends exactly the same as my female ones so I don’t differentiate their either

Probably odd, but my closest buddies and I, male and female, often talk about sex in general terms or gently coded specifics. Our partners are well aware. It's great, as you get lots of "I'm not alone!" and "so that's what they're probably thinking!" moments and really learn about things from different perspectives.

If the man is trying to get you to talk about sex he probably fancies you. So if you’re in a relationship you might want to shut it down.

That is to say I’ve had male friends I’ve talked about sex with in the past when I was younger. But if it’s come up a lot in conversation recently there’s a reason for it. He keeps bringing it up essentially..

I'm really open about sex and I'll talk about it with anyone to be honest but only if they initiate it as I appreciate not everyone wants to openly discuss it!

I'm single though if that makes a difference and I'm just casual dating right now so I don't really have any loyalties!

My sister is the only person I'd talk to about it nowadays. When I was younger, I'd have talked to close friends but I don't now have any friends I'm on those sort of terms with.

Such interesting range of views. I do find one of my (female) friends a bit nosey for my liking but like hearing different views on things. It’s a hard thing to talk about.

Interesting re the male friend though. We’ve become much closer recently (chatting more, talking about more personal things and seeing each other more) so I’d just put the sex chat down to feeling more comfortable generally. He’s been clear in the past that he just sees me as a friend though.

Johnny I couldn’t imagine talking to my mum! Kinda jealous you have that closeness though. I’d love to know how things were for her especially when she was young given how the world’s changed

Only my best friend of nearly 40 years, and my DH. I crawl with embarrassment at hen parties when it’s all “share your story” type activities.

I do talk about it with a friend who is recently single after 10 years in a sexless marriage because she is dying to get back out there!

No one else but my husband. I might sound like a right old prude, but I think things like that should be kept private between us.

Just my husband and maybe my closest friend if it was in a general way. I know a woman who likes to share very intimate details about her and her husbands sex life. I find it immature and cringe as well as disrespectful as its normally at his expense. She has at times made me feel uncomfortable so I just dont talk about it with her i I don't respond when shes regailing us all with her stories. It seems to have stopped her so might work with the person you're talking about.

I'm a man and I never talk to anyone about sex except the person I'm having it with. The idea of talking about something intimate with anyone else just doesn't make sense to me.

I do not talk to anyone. I consider that a gross breach of DH's trust.
I would hate DH to talk about our sex life with his friends so why would it be ok for me to talk about it with my friends?

I have had friends tell me things that their partner would clearly really hate me (or anyoneelse) to know. I really don't understand why women think this is ok.

Most men don't like talking about sex, even with eachother, except to their wife/girlfriend. I'd be worried he was a bit of a sleaze.

Unless you have real problems is there any need to talk sex with anyone other than your partner? However you can talk on here as much as you want, no holds barred.

Interesting- I wonder if contrary to the locker room stereotype men and women aren’t so different in this regard

I don’t know if men talk about sex with each other but I talk about sex with my male friends - about our past conquests, current sex lives, general stuff we like in bed, gross sex things other people have done...