Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help needed with text

19 replies

NameChangeNugget · 26/08/2018 08:14

Hello, I would really like some help with composing a text message & would like some thoughts.

I’ve been with DP for just under 5 years & things have ticked along really well for 4 1/2 years. However, we’ve had some issues over the last few months & I suggested I’d move out of his house, where I live, last weekend for a week to give us both some space to reevaluate what we have.
It was my suggestion that we go no contact for the week and we’ve both kept our part of the bargain.
Anyway, before I left, we agreed that we would meet this coming Tuesday to discuss everything, with clear heads and to see if there is a way forward. We’ve both had our parts to play in the issues.

So, I said I’d be in contact today by text either today or tomorrow to sort out Tuesday but, what the hell do I say in the text?? I’m totally overthinking the situation & have missed him terribly. I really want to give this a shot. I don’t want to sound too needy or too cold in my initial message.

Any ideas?? Thank you in advance.

OP posts:
BuntyII · 26/08/2018 08:16

Wouldn't it be better if you rung him? But if you must text just say hi, have missed you a lot, can't wait to see you on Tuesday, what time shall we meet?

Original poster
NameChangeNugget · 26/08/2018 08:26

Thanks Bunty
We’re both not good on phones & text has always worked for us.
A friend in RL, said I shouldn’t admit I’ve missed him & to save that for the meeting?
Can’t believe how a confident career woman, is going to pot over a text message!

OP posts:
Jenala · 26/08/2018 08:29

Of course admit you missed him. If you want to make it work why wouldn't you? Say it in the the message and say it again when you see him. I think the message Bunty suggested is pretty great. It's warm and signals what you want when you meet. Go harsh and formal and the meet up will start with tension imo.

Jenala · 26/08/2018 08:30

One thing I've learnt over the years with DH is always say what you mean, don't play games or be anything other than honest about your feelings, and let yourself be vulnerable. Every difficult situation we come out stronger with that mindset. So, if you missed him, tell him so!!

surlycurly · 26/08/2018 08:33

Another one here who says to say what you feel rather than treat it like a chess game; it's the most important bit of you, your emotions. If he doesn't respond kindly then you have your answer about where the relationship is going... good luck OP.

N0bodysM0t · 26/08/2018 08:33

Maybe say you're looking forwzrd to seeing him at 11am or whatever.
This is not as big a statement as "ive missed you" but he will know ur not going to end things.
Now is not the time to worry about loss of face. If you want to get back together tell him. If the issue you fought over now seems unimportant and worth compromising over, tell him.
He may not feel the same but tell him how you really feel so the meeting is not two egos meeting up.

Can u compromise over the issue that caused problems? Find out if he can too.

SoyDora · 26/08/2018 08:33

You’re overthinking. Don’t play games, be honest. Just say hello, I’ve missed you, look forward to seeing you on Tuesday, where shall we meet?

Original poster
NameChangeNugget · 26/08/2018 08:48

Thank you for the suggestions so far. I know I’m overthinking it.
I’d be thinking exactly the same, reading my OP as a reader.

OP posts:
Jenala · 26/08/2018 10:34

I hope everything goes well for you op Flowers it's hard not to overthink these things.

Melliegrantfirstlady · 26/08/2018 10:36

Good luck op let us know if he replies!

Isitovernow · 26/08/2018 11:10

I really think you should write exactly what's in your h

Isitovernow · 26/08/2018 11:10

*in your heart Flowers

Original poster
NameChangeNugget · 26/08/2018 11:26

Isitover, neither of us are lovey dovey like that, we’re both practical. I just don’t want to sound too cold or too eager.

OP posts:
user1486956786 · 26/08/2018 11:32

After 5 years together why would you worry about sounding too eager ?! Confused Say exactly how you feel, no games.

ForeverJung · 26/08/2018 11:41

You should be able be honest about how you feel by now.

Is feeling strongly about him something that he discourages? Ie, is he a bit avoidant that you see an honest declaration of certain feelings as a bit needy or embarrassing?

YOU know how you feel. Be relieved you have certainty.

twilightsaga · 26/08/2018 11:53

I would concentrate the message on just arranging to meet. You don't want to get in to that conversation over text. When you meet up you can say all that you want to

Cupoteap · 26/08/2018 12:11

Maybe being honest about your feelings and more open is exactly what's been missing?

Paddley · 26/08/2018 12:20

I wouldn't say too much in the text, I'd just make the arrangement.

If you tell him you've missed him face to face, you'll get a better understanding of how he feels from his reaction.

Musti · 26/08/2018 12:52

You separated to reassess your feelings. Honesty is exactly what you need. Tell him how you feel! If he doesn't feel the same then you know. If he feels the same then it'll warm his heart.

Hope it goes well op.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page