DP thinks i spend too much time with male friend

[noprobllamas]

This has been an on and off argument between me and DP for years. I've always had a good mix between male and female friends and my best friend happens to be male. We've been friends since we were around 5 or 6, the most I've gone without seeing him is maybe a week or two since then. But DP is always saying I shouldn't spend so much time with him, when I ask why he says it's because he never sees me. Yet I see DP much more, if we don't see each other a lot it's because we both work and have 2 DD's to look after. I don't think he would act like this if my friend were female

Does your dh mean he'd like more one to one time with you, and feels like you spend time with friend instead of just him? If the time you spend with dh is always with the dc, then I'd be a bit peed of too.

If he saw a good female friend every week would you mind? That is quite a lot for a busy person to see a friend, and although there is obviously nothing wrong with this, your DH sees him as a threat in a way he wouldn’t react to you seeing a woman.

I kind of agree with your DH to be honest. Does your friend have a Good is he married? If so does she have an issue with it?

Would you be happy if your DH had a female friend he saw on that regularity? Regardless of if he knew her from 5 years old.

What strikes me is that the most you’ve ever gone without seeing this friend is a week or two. That sounds odd and stifling. Any friendship that heavy could pose problems in a relationship.

We do have one on one time as much as we can really. I wouldn't mind if he had a female friend. My friend is married and he's never mentioned her having a problem with it, I'm quite good friends with her

missyB1

What strikes me is that the most you’ve ever gone without seeing this friend is a week or two. That sounds odd and stifling. Any friendship that heavy could pose problems in a relationship.

Absolute bullshit. How can seeing a friend every week or every two weeks be odd and stifling or cause problems?

I see my friends weekly and it doesn’t cause problems with my DH and I.

Op - your DP just doesn’t like the fact your best friend is male. Maybe invite him along to one of your get together all though if it was me I would tell my DP to grow up.

You can take his feelings on board and reduce the amount of time you see your friend. Or you can risk your DH becoming resentful about it and allow the cards to fall where they will.

I don't know many people who see their friends on such a regular schedule as this....especially once you're married with a family.

I personally wouldn't want my DH seeing a female friend on this regularity and vice versa.

There isn't necessarily a right or wrong...but the current situation isn't working for your DH. Now you can carry on as you are in spite of knowing how your DH feels ...or reduce it to once a fortnight at least. Even once a month tbh. You do seem to have an attachment to your friend to the point you have to see him so regularly and that would likely concern most partners or spouses.

Marriage is about compromise and considering your spouse.

I find it hard to relate really as I don't see anyone with that regularity! I do have friends I've known for similar periods of time, but there are always phases where I see each of them more or less depending on life circumstances. Then again I think that's pretty normal for friendships. Maybe this needs to be one of those times where you see each other a little less for the good of your relationship.

See your friend as much as you want. Wouldn't be having thid thread if he was female.