not sure what to do?

[oprahwindfury]

NC’d - long time poster

Off and on with DP over last few months due to trust issues and his ex: decided to make a go of things but last night too much alcohol was consumed and we got into a big fight and I flippantly suggested he go off and date someone else so that he would see just how lovely he had with me.

we didn’t break up last night but today he’s been low contact

friend sent me a screenshot of him on a dating website - joined a few weeks ago and was active today!

haven’t broached this with him as he will think I’m stalking him (his ex did and continues to do so) so I checked his fb and WhatsApp to see whether he is ignoring me or just busy and he has been online on WhatsApp for almost 3 hours!

don’t think I’m being paranoid and think I have every right to be upset. Worried that he’s talking to prospective dates online (he never uses WhatsApp, we always text because his stalky ex watches us)

should I confront him but risk being labelled a stalker or, should I wait it out and see if I can catch him out?

Walk away now. The guy is clearly not worth the headspace. He's actively looking for other women. What else do you need to know??

How long have you been together? Sounds like your relationship is a bit toxic if you ask me.
Sorry but if he joined a dating site a few weeks ago then he's clearly keeping his options open.
I wouldn't bother confronting him, just finish it and tell him you've just had enough and its not working for you anymore.

Slight update: created a few weeks ago and when I looked at date we were on a break but says he was last active today so he must have logged on and wondering who he would be talking to constantly but yet ignoring me?

think I may go over to his flat now and confront him

Has it crossed your mind that he perhaps still speaks to his ex and he just tells you a certain version of events? He sounds like a player tbh

Why do you need to confront him? You're on, you're off, you dont trust him, you have huge arguments, he's on a dating site. Sounds like true love match.... not!

Walk away unless you enjoy the drama? He's not going to sudden declare undying love and mean it if you confront him. Why do expect confronting to achieve except another row?

The mature, strong woman thing to do is walk away and block. Confronting a twat is pointless and drama queen behaviour.

Maybe his ex isn't actually a stalker crazy, maybe she's reacting to his wanker behaviour, just like you're about to do.

I’d rather confront to make sure I have this right and not just block and wonder if I made a mistake

could be that he’s online to his kids - daughter moving into University today so perhaps I am just jumping to conclusions.

keep checking his dating profile and he’s not showing as online so that has settled my mind a bit

as die the ex I have witnessed her stalking behaviour - it’s not him fabricating she is mad

Tbf you sound like the stalker. If you have been seeing this guy for a number of months but he still has a dating profile then it isn’t looking good . A man who is head over heels doesn’t behave that way. Let this one go and move on I reckon

Come on op. Please find your self respect. NO relationship should be this difficult. Seriously. Walk away.

If you don’t have trust you don’t have anything.

This is silly adolescent nonsense. Grow up and move on.

So he has a "crazy" ex, you've been on and off, you have drunken arguments, you don't trust him, he's on dating websites, you stalk his whatsapp to see when he's been online.

Sounds like a great basis for a relationship.

And he's got a daughter going to uni so he must be in his late 30s at least? This sounds more like a teenage relationship! How old are you OP?

How long have you been together? Though tbf it doesn't really matter does it-on/off relationships are just toxic. I know some people think they're exciting but they're really not.
You do sound like a stalker, there are trust issues, you tell him to date other people in empty threats to make him see how fab you are, blah blah blah then get the fucking face on when he does as you've requested. Take a look at the relationship & yourself-time to perhaps grow up?

I’m with Thingsdogetbetter - is the ex actually a crazy stalker, or is she just you version 1 being fed the same bull as you are. Is there a version 3 or 4 or 5 being warned about your ‘crazy stalking?’ Sounds like divide and conquer to me...