Hi,
This is my first post and I have found myself scouring the internet and mumsnet for advice but nothing seems to be just fitting my situation.
Me and my partner were trying for a baby for 6 months before being successful. My eldest son is not his son, he is the step-dad. We had been together for 4 years. 3 weeks after finding out we were successful in conceiving - he upped and left out of nowhere. With no explanation other than he wasn't happy. It then turns out he had a new girlfriend within 2 weeks. It has now been 4 months since we have been separated - he is still with this girl although they have split twice due to him still loving me - he has come to me and said his mental health is at crisis point and he can't be without me, he's made a mistake. I let him in and then a few days later - BAM - back to normal, he didn't make a mistake with this girl and she is worth fighting for. I am now 25 weeks pregnant and tbh this pregnancy has been HELL! I work full time and I have already been signed off sick for 9 weeks due to severe depression and anxiety. I am extremely unwell and distracted 24/7 - I am feeling really really deflated and low.
The last time he came back was as little as one week ago - now he is back to cutting me off. He says he wants to be a part of babys life when born, but not my eldest who he has parented for 4 years (Son is 5 years) - he feels it will be too painful when I move on and meet somebody new who will replace the role of step-dad (I find this so abusive of him to say) - my son is extremely emotional and is affected by this! To make it worse - my ex works in my sons school and his new girlfriend also does - so my son has to see him frequently and of course will when my ex comes to see the baby. He says he dislikes me - he thinks I am untrustworthy and dishonest and wants nothing to do with me. He has told me he needs to prioritise his new girlfriend and her 2 children.
I don't know what to do for the best? I could cut him off back and say I'm done but I guess I am still living in hope that he will be a part of my sons life - am I being deluded ladies?!
Should he attend appointments? What shall I do from this point onwards.
To do this to anybody is cruel and vile, let alone with me being pregnant.
He has been extremely emotionally abusive and I have noticed that he only comes back when he thinks I am moving on (unlikely considering currently 25 weeks PG!!!) - he has also been extremely verbally abusive and I feel quite worthless and unworthy.
Thanks ladies! Please be kind!