Relate - what should I expect?

[tammybear]

Im going to relate tomorrow and I was just wondering if people can tell me about their experiences and what to expect. Thanks xxx

can't say mine have been very good really.
we went, talked, but it seemed we had too many 'child rearing' issues (probs with dd) for them to really help us.
I think all the things that were suggested we found barriers to, so the counsellor could do no more.
But every counsellor/experience is totally different.
Wish you well, You are on a roll aren't you?!!
(getting very sorted.. well done you!)

We are thinking of going, so let me know how you get on, hope it goes well.

We have been going recently. Had several sessions last year, after I had a (very misguided and stupid) brief fling with an old friend. It helped take some heat out of the situation at that stage, but a year on we are back, as we didn't seem to have "moved on" enough.

I find the sessions very useful for getting us both to identify the areas we need to change in our own behaviour, but unfortunately we seem to get stuck at that point. DH can say "Yes, I know I need to change that", but then does nothing about it. In a way I think it's because of what I did - as if he thinks all the work has to come from me - but also he is quite stubborn.

On the positive side it's helped me see how my approach to things makes a bad situation worse, but further than that I can't really say too much.

I guess if you're both truly committed to the process, it can be very helpful. In our case I think DH is paying lip service to it while waiting for me to change. Quite frustrating.

My h and I are going to Relate at the moment - on our fourth session. I have found it very useful and the right forum to air concerns/upsets etc - I tend to focus on the Relate meetings and, generally, avoid discussing some issues generally unless, of course, I really need to. Did try counselling last year and found it useless. I think you both have to be really commit to counselling and getting the timing right is very useful. I also really like our counsellor and we actually have quite a laugh sometimes. My h is also finding it useful - hope this helps, ask any questions.

I had first session today, went okay. Just talked about problems that were affecting. Been given some advice but if it doesnt help, then there's a program that's available to help. Felt a bit better after. xxx

I went to relate several years ago intially with my dh. dh not willing to take an active role and be confronted by the counsellor over some of his less than desirable behaviour, so eventually I went alone. Must say the counsellor was excellent and helped me through my eventual divorce! I came out a stronger person and believe the counsellor helped me to rebuild my life.