Hi would appreciate any advice or opinions please or is anyone going through a similar situation?...
Myself and my husband are in our early 40's have been together for 14 years, we have 3 children aged 8, 10 & 20. My youngest has ASD and can be challenging sometimes. We both work.
Our problems started quite a few years back with our sex life, im not as fussed about it as I was in the early years but my husband still pretty much wishes we had a sex life like we had in the begining which was most nights!..
Now what normally happens is we will go along and end up only having sex once every few weeks but the problem is if it goes longer than this he will completly withdraw himself from me, ie stop kissing and cuddling me, talking propely to me and being nice in general, which makes me feel rubbish.
He is convinced there must be something wrong with me and puts the blame soley on me.
He has admitted he does this to punish me and says he does this on purpose.
But what this ends up doing is making me feel resentful that he would do this to me and lonely.
I have tried explaining to him that i feel we need to work on us as couple, and do more things when we can just us but he always says he cant see how a few meals out etc will make a difference.
This pattern has been happening for years and he is only happy with me when he is getting regular sex.
I suffer from aniexty and stress and have seen a therapest and mentioned this to her who did say i should not go thinking there is something wrong with me.
I have suggested couple counselling but he was not keen 😟.
Also when we are good cuddles are often gropes and he always turns it sexual when sometimes i just want a hug.
Now i just dread ever turning him down as i know the being treated crap follows.