Facebook and fake friends

[VeetTheFockers]

It's so easy to click a like and make a comment, but what do you get out of it? It's nice to get a message too, but there is a call facility. It would be nice to get a call. Do you think people hide behind social media as a shield, so they do not get too close? It would be nice to be invited out, which I must admit I was for a group dinner soon. It's funny really, because despite it being called social media it doesn't feel social 😂 Just thinking out loud.

I've just come off FB for the exact reason! I actually liked and commented on an old school friend's post and then when I saw her IRL we ignored each other!! Made me realise how hypocritical I am!!

I think social media is a good tool for people to use if they want some social connection in their lives but they either don’t have the time for more face to face interactions or they don’t want to due to preferring their own company/anxiety maybe.

People who are sociable will always make time for the ones they care about! It’s a great tool in my life, a good way to stay in touch with lots of friends easily and it is utilised to get in touch, plan and look out for events and share info with one another.

I don’t think people necessarily use it as a shield, it’s just people will only use it in a way that works for them. I wouldn’t ever just call someone to chat as I find it intrusive, and neither would any of my friends, so messenger works well for us when we’re not together in person.

On the whole I’d say it definitely brings people together more than keeps them apart.

I just like stuff that I like, not much deeper than that, other than sometimes when I like it it’s just an acknowledgment to show I’ve seen it and taken notice or as a supportive gesture. When a friend likes my post I know they’ve seen it and agree with it or enjoyed it or wanted to show their support. It’s a nice easy low stakes way of keeping the social bond going. Not everything in our busy lives can be always meeting up in person for hours at a time, as much as I’d love that it’s just not feasible with busyness and families and geographical distance, we still definitely make the effort to see one another in person but a lot of social media is just keeping in touch in the interim between hangouts whereas before SM other than the odd text it’d have been just nothingness.

I dislike talking on the phone and get stressed when someone calls me. When on the phone I just want the conversation over (unless it's a quick call for a specific purpose). I much, much prefer and enjoy getting messages.

I think there are a lot of people like me and that might be why you're not getting calls OP.

I think that now we’ve all got phones we carry everywhere social etiquette has evolved so it’s almost considered rude to call someone just to chat, and I think something has been lost because of this. It’s not like before when you rang landlines that people would only pick up if available to chat.

Having said that though a friend from uni called recently out of the blue and because it’s so unusual I thought something was wrong so picked up at the supermarket which was then awkward when she just wanted to chat. I arranged to call her later but think she was put out

I like it for general chit chat with people you ‘know’ or who have similar interests but don’t necessarily see, funnily enough my real life friends use it very rarely

I've deleted Facebook because people told me what I should and shouldn't put on it. It was like my side of the family are ashamed of depression and mental health. I thought fuck this it's easier not to have an account. Certain people were also reporting my down days to my parents when I've been married for a decade, so why not contact my dh? It just caused so many issues. I'm not going back on it again. Personally if people really care they would come and see you instead of interfering!

I avoid making calls at all costs. No idea why, I work on phones.

I came off social media but actually had to get it back as I found I was more isolated without. I don't have any FB "friends" so never post anything or see posts from people like that but use it to join "groups". Meetings are arranged as events through FB for two of my sport hobbies. So it can be very useful. I've never really used any other social media, plus not many friends have any. I'm late 20s and a lot of people my age are realising it's mostly a waste of time and that privacy is poor so they've come off it.

Agree re phone calls earlier. I'm rarely available to talk more than briefly. It would be better to text or message me to ask to meet up. I would rather meet up once every 6 months for a couple hours or a day than speak on the phone to someone for 20 mins every week or two personally.

@dirtybadger yes it definitely is not as private as it makes out.

Thanks for your views.

Enbh- I understand what you mean. Someone didn't even see me when out and she likes a lot. However, someone who doesn't interact much on fb made a point of stopping to say hello and asking after me. Got me wondering.
I have some old school/college people there and I think what is the point.
I guess I like to hear a voice and you can change what the message says before you send it.
Someone said to me they like it, as they can dip in and out. I guess that is what it is for, dipping in and out as you please.
Thinkingofausername - I was thinking the same about people coming to see me if they cared instead, so this is why I am staying off Facebook today as long as possible.
I am making myself sound sad, but I guess I am missing some good old fashioned social interaction 😂.

Op you didn't mention whether you're single, partnered, working, studying or a SAHP.

When I worked in an office I really got all the social interaction I could handle just throughout every working day. Superficial most of the time, but we'd go out once a month for a pub lunch and have a chat that didn't involve work.

Now I'm self employed and work alone all day every day (apart from seeing clients) I do feel the need for more interaction and I do read and post a lot on industry forums and message people who seem on my wavelength. I've met several friends through this and one woman in particular who I now consider my best friend (having not had a BFF in 20 years!)

I am an introvert and generally avoid spending social time with people though as it saps my energy. I reserve most of that energy for spending with my DS on my days off.

Notthefordtype - I am employed full time in a very small office, only three others there. This may be why I feel the need for more interaction. I have a partner who works long hours, so there is another reason. I do go out to the gym several times a week and there are some lovely people there, but not a great deal of social interaction. However, we do all feel like a fitness family there, which is nice. I am a mum too. Some people chat on fb, but seems on their terms. I admit that I need more solid friendships....

Why don't you suggest to meet some people from the gym for a coffee? My gym has a cafe so I'm hoping I can do the same, once I get back into it. Been a bit difficult over the summer hols. Also, probably not a good idea to mix work and social. I've experienced friends always being crapped on.