Should I warn new gf on social media?

[Rockinmomma]

A couple of years ago I was unfortunate (and terribly vulnerable) to meet a man who ended up being the biggest cocklodging, manipulating, narcissistic on the planet.
I eventually booted him out of my home and a number of months later I had a knock on my door from a landlady of his.
We figured out together that his cycle of manipulation and grooming is OLD, find a vulnerable woman, put on an act, purposefully lose his job then room his renting at which point he has groomed new gf with stories of childhood abuse, crazy EXW and she feels sorry for him and let’s him move in.
I recently met a friend of his who has informed me he has a new gf and is living with her in a town near me.
I’m very tempted to use a ‘spotted’ fb page to warn her (and anyone else)
Would you?

No.

She will tell him, he will tell her you are the crazy ex with MH issues and are still bitter because he left you. Even if that's not the case.

I certainly wouldn't put it up on a spotted page.

She will find out soon enough.

No.You'll be labelled as the crazy ex.

Spend your time working out why you're still so bothered by his actions rather than getting involved in his life again.

Yes let her know but without giving away who you are or anything that could identify you.

I'd just move on....
Even if she did believe you and dumped him he'll find another....and another etc etc
You can't save them all....

No, she won’t believe you. I’d just move on and forget him.

The posters above are dead right. Imagine if his 'crazy ex-wife' had warned you in the early days? You wouldn't have listened.

Putting it on a more public page would make you seem even more obsessed, unfortunately.

I really do know how tempting this is, but it only ever backfires.

Let it go

No, leave them to it.

You could always send her a message. She probably won't believe you but she may put her guard up a little.

Would you have believed someone who'd tried to warn you, or put it down to jealousy and her being a "crazy ex"?

So what if you’re not believed now?

If you detail what happened to you and what you know happened with others then the seed of doubt will have been planted and hopefully this lady will wake to this cocklodger far sooner and waste less of her life on him.

This ladies life is worth you contacting her for, even though if you don’t know that’ll help her now.

it's a bit like when my stepfather's fourth wife phoned me and said 'why didn't you tell me what he was like?'.
I pointed out to her that she wouldn't have wanted to hear it, and they would have thought that as the daughter of the third wife, I was just trying to make trouble.

Thanks for replies.
I actually would have believed the ex, alarm bells rang very early. I actually didn’t like the guy.... basically I was an idiot!
When I had the knock on the door the lady told me about his new —victim— gf at that time. I found her, contacted her and she listened.
In all honesty I really don’t want to chance him being back in my life! But there was an incident with my DS, said cocklodger was upstairs talking to my DS. Next moment I hear a slap sound, I ran up and confronted him. He denied he’d hit my DS but I knew he had.
What if this lady has children?

No. You could end up in trouble by plastering stuff about him on a local Facebook page. You will also look like andbeactinglike the crazy ex.

A public Facebook page is a terrible idea. But i guess you could privately tell her. Be prepared to be blocked and ignored though.

No. You're just the crazy ex who is obsessed with him and tracks down people to slag him off to and harass.

That's what it'll look like anyway.

You wouldn't have believed it. You said alarm bells sounded early on and you didn't even listen to your own intuition.

Why is his landlady tracking down his ex's? That's very odd behaviour.

You’re all right, I feel physically sick at the thought of any sort of contact with the man!
The landlady visited because she wanted to confirm some suspicions, thought she was going crazy. He’d stopped paying rent saying it was because his bank had been fraudulently used. He’d actually been sacked and was pretending to go to work each day. She confronted him and he went on to tell her his 16 year old DD had died. She hadn’t!

You can choose to send a message but if you do, keep it non emotional.

Perhaps something like:
Hi, you don't know me but during my time dating X this happened. It would appear that I was sold a number of stories about childhood abuse, crazy ex wife etc. Then he claimed to have lost his job, I tried to help and he was a cocklodger. Unfortunately, it took some time for me to realise that I was played and seem to be one in a long line of women this has happened to. In hindsight, I wish someone has warned me. I know love is blind and I might have turned a blind eye or ignored her as a crazy ex from one of his stories, but I might have left sooner when the signs repeated. Feel free to ignore this message but I wanted to give a fellow woman the heads up I wish someone had given me.'

She will probably ignore you. He will probably present you as a crazy ex who is in love with him. Maybe a part of it will be lodged somewhere.

Though I'm not sure I would send it personally.

I think Maisy's suggested message is excellent. Send that, then draw a line and move on with your own life.

Thank you, that’s very similar to what I sent to the other lady. I didn’t put any details though just who I was, that I didn’t have malicious intent but if there are red flags and she had concerns she can contact me in confidence. She did and he’d told a lot of lies. She ended up getting the police involved for harassment, he was posting letters through her door every day!