Wtf is this behaviour about?

[MamaHechtick]

DH had an emotional affair with one of my childhood friends. This was many years ago via Facebook and text. I'm sure it would have lead to a full blown affair, if not him actually leaving me for her, however we both cut contact and then worked on our relationship, got married and had two DC's. No problems ever since.

This morning I was on DH's phone, as agreed by him, this wasn't a snoop, I had to go into his history to look at something he was ordering, DH was in the same room. On the history whilst looking for the page I notice "Facebook then her name". Very recent search, I clicked on it and it came up as her profile. It also came up a few times after him visiting porn sites. Worried I then looked in the messages, they last messaged two years ago when he asked her for ideas about our nieces birthday gift...wtf?! Anyway the conversation ended with her suggestions and then no more messages.
I'm certain he doesn't have her number, I know she still doesn't drive and DH actually works away from home, miles away and she lives in the next town to us so there's very little chance of an actual meet up.
But why is he suddenly looking at her social media again? And when he must have known id be able to see what he had been looking at. I really don't know what to do? Confront him and have to go back to working on our marriage or just leave him because she seems to be the one that got away?

Are you sure it was only an emotional affair?

I think you should certainly discuss it with him. And ask why he’s thinking about her.

Absolutely positive it was just emotional. Ironically they only met once when he joined me for lunch with her, after that it was all texts and Facebook messages.

I google old flames now and then, doesn't mean I want to get in contact. It doesn't seem as if he's actively pursuing her, more that he is just being curious or having a bit of a crush. Whilst that's inappropriate of course, and I'd be hurt too, you can't really police his thoughts. Just be a bit vigilant perhaps in case his wandering eye gets any bolder.

He Facebook googled..
call the village elders!

I Facebook search ex’s sometimes. It doesn’t mean anything. If he’s doing it ALLLLL the time then yes there’s an issue

I’d be more pissed off with the contact though. After an emotional affair I would make it loud and clear I wouldnt tolerate any contact between them. If he did so behind my back then he obviously doesn’t respect the new boundaries...

Same as PP’s, I have been known to search for exes on social media before now. It doesn’t mean I miss them or want anything to do with them, I just get bored and curious at times. It always delights me to see they haven’t changed in all those years and are still every bit as lame .

I would be more fucked off by the contact he had with her tbh, however innocuous it was. You need to raise that with him.

I think that he should have cut her out completely when you discoversd the EA. He should not have got back in touch two years ago, however innocuous. Was there really no one else he could ask about his niece's present?!? It's as if he was trying to reignite things. Luckily, it sounds as if she answered him politely with no come-on, and nothing else occurred - it's likely that he was trying his luck, though.

The Facebook search in isolation is fine. We all look up exes and people we have fancied. However, in conjunction with the faux-casual birthday present message two years ago, it seems as if she's not quite out of his system.

I sometimes check out a past fling. Especially the one who got away. In real life I’m bloody glad he got away, but the fantasy is still there( about 1%). It doesn’t mean anything.