My ex fiancée and I have known each other for 10 years and were together 3 years, he was a drug addict and I stood by him to help him but never put myself first in the relationship, he’d done things to me that should have made me leave him but my feelings got the better of me we ended in May this year when he decided he was taking a job in Scotland. He just accepted the job without telling me, so I asked him did he consider us or if I wanted to move up there so unfortunately I didn’t join him because I couldn’t find a job in the near areas where he was. But he said he was going to live in the on site accommodation so I’d have to find a house for just me and the dogs. So end of May he moved up to Scotland after we made the decision to end us I was truly heart broken.
However I left him to it to let him get on with his life as he chose that for him as he wanted to get away from the areas where he did the drugs. It broke my heart so much I was so down
End of July he contacted me out of the blue at 1am saying he couldn’t sleep and how he was missing me he messaged me on WhatsApp, Snapchat and text. But I didn’t know what to do when I got the messages as I was only just getting over the heartache of him leaving so my feelings took over me again and I text back then we met up half way he cried saying how much he wants to be back with me and the dogs and he can’t live without us I also told him I’m looking to move away somewhere else to be happy again and find a job I love doing and he said I’ll come with you
So it’s been a good month getting back to how we used to be however he came down for the weekend last weekend and it felt great and I didn’t want him to leave as it was like the family was back together. So we were applying for jobs in areas we’d move too but he did ask if I’d move to Scotland for him and I said I want to do something for me and don’t want to move to Scotland because I’ve done too much for him in the relationship and where are the compromises? As all I’d be doing is moving for him and then he went back up to Scotland come Monday he was different and now he doesn’t even want to know me and wants to forget about us. He keeps saying he’s taking his dad’s advise as he agrees with it but when I asked what was that he wouldn’t tell me so I also asked him why he contacted me a month ago to do this to me as I’m back to being heart broken and upset again
What have i done wrong? Why won’t he tell me what his dad has advised him on? Also why did he bother getting in touch if he was going to do that?
Seems to me he wanted me to move up to Scotland for him and made out to his dad I’m being unreasonable
But what is wrong with putting myself first when he put himself first moving to Scotland three months ago and not considering anything else?
Am I such a bad person? 😔😔😔
I worry he'll contact me out of the blue again in a couple of months do it all again
Please can someone give me their point of view?