Hello, I have namechanged, I'm feeling unsure of my own perceptions at the moment and wondered if people could tell me whether they think I am being over sensitive or not.
My DH has become quite critical since we had our daughter (18 months old) but when I explain myself he says I am defensive and over sensitive and that I need to stop being like this. When he gets annoyed with me his tone gets very stern and I can only hear the anger in his voice - he says I need to ignore the tone and listen to the words he is saying. If I say anything critical back or defend myself he says that I'm unbelievable and that it's not about me, it's about our DC. It feels like if I say anything back he always has an answer or else he says 'no its YOU who does that/says that'. Last week he told me not to defy him and has told me off in front of our DC (which I won't respond to, I walk away).
It makes me feel like I'm going mad as I can't make any point myself I just have to take in what he criticises me about. The criticism can be quite mundane things like the way I look after our daughter, taking her out for too long and don't warrant the level of anger I see on his face. He has in the past called me things like a fucking idiot and often says the things I say in my defence are ridiculous or ludicrous. I am beginning to feel quite anxious and don't have anyone to talk to so just wanted to see whether people think this lies with me, maybe I am being too defensive. I have tried speaking to my sister but she doesn't really understand and says we are probably both to blame.
I have really supported him over the years with problems he has had with gambling and binge drinking and feel that he takes out his own anxieties on me. He is very friendly and charming and I don't think anyone would believe he could be an angry type of person. I'm not perfect by any means by the way, and I take responsibility for my flaws. I have just noticed that his character seems to have got more critical since our daughter was born.