Why am I such a fool.

[Ashenclouds]

Sitting here after just seeing some messages from my DH to another person saying how he has feelings for a female colleague. Wrongly I looked at his emails, there's no trust there anymore which is why I felt the need to look.

Why do I keep on believing his lies, why do I keep on forgiving his infedelities. If anyone else was going through this I'd tell them to leave, I'd tell them they are worth so much more than this, yet I can't follow through with my own advice. When did I become so weak.

OP - no one can tell you that.
Maybe you are afraid of being on your own; maybe you hope he would change; maybe lifestyle is holding you back. Possibly insecurity about yourself....
If you want to understand more - counselling is probably a better way than asking strangers...

That said - given that you mentioned multiple infidelities - you don’t have many choices.
He is clearly not going to change.
It’s down to you - learn to accept it; or find a strength to leave.

Everything in life is a choice. Even staying is a choice. You’ve just got to work out what the right choice for you and you alone is.

you're not a fool OP, just too forgiving and hopeful. Not a bad quality to have, but you're wasting it on the wrong person.

Do you have children? Mortgage? For your own sanity you need to leave him, please don't waste your energy on someone who doesn't respect you or you'll spend your life looking over your shoulder whilst your confidence/self worth erodes more.

I'm not sure why you're staying with a man who cheats on you.

How many times has. He cheated? Do you have kids? Can you survive financially on your own? How long have you been together? Do you suffer with mental health issues? Low self esteem? Depression?

Why don't you follow your own advice? Which bit breaks?